Should I Tell?

Should I Tell?

(Wig shown above: SPECTACULAR SHAG WIG BY TRESSALLURE)



This is a recurring topic that has come up nearly every week as new wig wearers are confronted with this issue for the first time. What do I say when someone compliments my hair? How do I handle critiques from friends or family who seem to want to discourage me from wig wearing? Should I go ahead tell my family and close friends? How should I handle telling (or not telling) work colleagues? There is no one answer to any of these questions. Only you know the best way to answer because only you know your level of confidence and the dynamics of your personal and professional relationships.


The other recurring topic is romantic relationships. How and when— you should bring this up. It is tricky because trust places a huge role here. I’d certainly not make it a conversation on a first or even second date. After all, if this is someone you don’t know well; and may not see again, why put yourself through that stress? Now, the tricky part. If you do progress to a more serious relationship, an intimate relationship, then how do you prepare your partner ahead of time, or do you have to do that? Unfortunately, there are no rules about this, and it comes back to you, your trust level with the person, and your confidence that you are more than your hair.


If you do get to that point and are still not ready to have the wig discussion, there is one thing my friend recommended that worked for her and allowed her time to ease her way into having the conversation. When they got to the time when she knew their relationship had progressed to the next phase, intimacy, yet she was still not ready to have the wig talk, she told her partner that she had hair extensions and to keep his hands out of her hair. Plain and simple, and that is what happened. She offered no other explanation until she was ready to, and that was weeks down the road when she was sure their relationship was one she wanted to cultivate.


You can do as she did, or you can just say upfront that you are wearing a wig, so please don’t mess with it and offer no further information. However, saying that will, in all likelihood, bring questions, so make sure you are ready to answer them. If you are in the early stages of dating, there are ways to secure your wig to keep it looking natural until you do get to a more serious point in your relationship.
What about your work colleagues? You can handle that situation any way you think is best. Depending on the change in your look, if it is noticeable, you will most certainly have someone confront you about it or make a comment. Only you know your work situation. If it’s just going to a lower-density wig you are trying that is much like your bio hair, then you might not need to say anything. And I take this opportunity to remind you of something that you already know—people are much too concerned about their looks and life to dwell too much on others. We are our own worse critics.


If you love wigs and want to wear different styles and colors regularly to work, then you’ll have to go for it and tell everyone what you’re doing, and in a week or so, it will no longer be a topic. This is the jumping into the fire with both feet approach. Some people can handle it, and some rather not take this approach. Only you can decide.


Be ready for this person: you will run into someone, be they family, friend, or co-worker, who will have something to say. Some people seem to think that their mission in life is to offer their opinion on everything, whether they know anything about the topic or not. In the case of wigs, I’ve found that those who know nothing about them that feel they must give their critique. Be ready for them. They will ask questions, comment on the color or style, ask you the cost, and in general make you uncomfortable if you let them. I have found a few well-chosen sentences can usually shut them down. Here are some retorts that I’ve heard used over the years by seasoned wig wearers when asked questions.

“Why yes, it is a wig. Do you have wig or hair styling experience?”
“If you’re interested, I can send you some information.”
“Costs vary. I can point you to a few good websites if you need more information.”
“People wear wigs for all sorts of reasons. I am grateful that I have such great options.”
“I like being a blonde, but hold on, I could show up as a redhead tomorrow.”

 

Until next time, 

Vickie Lynn saying,  

Pull out that little bit of the magical witch in you and stand tall. 

Why the Big Deal about Blonde? And what about Red?

Why the Big Deal about Blonde? And what about Red?

(Pictured above: 100% HUMAN HAIR BANG BY RAQUEL WELCH )

Blondes heads up! Not only do women find blonde hair attractive, but men do too. And some men have a preference for red-heads. What makes blonde or red hair such a big deal? It seems there is a “scientific” reason, or would that should be a “biological” reason?


I’ll explain, but first let’s consider this: There are almost as many shades of blonde as there are personalities. From warm caramel blonde to the most silvery-white platinum. Most of us who wish to jump in the blonde pool can find a shade that’s right for us. We all know that shades of color are important, but I am continually amazed when I see women with colored/bleached hair or women with blonde wigs that have done themselves a disservice. All blondes (or red shades) are not created equal and all shades won’t work on every woman. Be picky, investigate, learn about skin tones, and undertones, and try a wig boutique if you can, to see the shades for yourself, and in indoor and outdoor lights. (And if you go blonde or red from a brunette shade, especially a darker one, remember to change your makeup!) Yes, it matters.


WHY are blondes considered “above average attractive” to so many people? There is a bit of science behind the answer. Don’t believe that it’s all Hollywood’s fault (think Marilyn Monroe and Jane Mansfield in the fifties). Here is what the “experts” tell us: blonde gives a woman a kind of eternal youth look. But the real reason, even more, “experts” agree on is this: the scarce is always more attractive. And this is where science comes in.


If we go back in time, we would see a lot of people with the same coloring, shades of brown for hair, and eyes. It was the way we evolved from darker to lighter as humans migrated to different parts of the earth, some having access to more or less sun. When more southern groups stumbled onto the groups in the far north, those who had been in those Nordic areas, for example, they found people with lighter hair and eyes because they had adapted to the climate by their DNA changing to let more sunlight into their bodies. The blue eye color was a mutation, and those mutations have continued to this day. It is common to find light eyes in the majority of natural blondes and many others of northern European ancestry (myself included).


Now, the really interesting part: Blonde hair originated through a kind of genetic necessity. There was a time when there was a shortage of food and males, leading to a high ratio of women competing for a smaller number of partners (Evolution and Human Behavior – 2/27/2006). Academic researchers have discovered that women in northern Europe evolved with light hair and blue eyes at the end of the Ice Age to stand out from the larger group so that they could attract the mate they desired. It was later when the Neanderthals came on the scene that the red hair gene started to spread among the populations. Scientists argued for decades about whether they intermixed with the more modern human. They did. More current ways to verify that have closed the argument. So, in reality, that red gene is just as rare or more so. We see it today in Scotland, Ireland, and Scandinavia in higher numbers, but the red-head gene originated in central Asia. It’s due to a mutation in the MC1R gene that fails to produce sun-protective, skin-darkening eumelanin and instead causes pale skin, freckles, and red hair. Unfortunately, some cultures equated red hair with witchcraft for a few generations, and this
gene didn’t spread as fast as it might have. Blonde women have their myths too and they are found all over the Nordic areas. Two of the Norse goddesses, Sif and Freyja were blondes.


Blue-eyed people (who are becoming even more scarce now) for example, can trace their ancestors back to ONE person who lived about 10,000 (give or take) years ago, near the Black Sea. The research was published in the Journal of Human Genetics. They identified a single mutation in a gene called OCA2, which arose by chance about 8,000 years ago (best guess currently). This gene turns off the mechanism that produces brown melanin pigment. Originally, as I noted earlier, all humans had brown eyes.


In the end, the most likely theory that most can agree on is that blonde hair and blue (or green) eyes arose because of sex selection. This is where males and females choose their mates and those with “special” characteristics. So, we are back to the value of what is scarce.


Why skin tones are important in picking hair color: Those humans from Europe and the Near East have many characteristics that set them apart from the rest of the human race. Not only are Europeans far more likely to have blue eyes (some green) (95 percent in some Scandinavian countries have shades of blue or blue-green) they also have a far greater range of skin tones and hair colors than any other ethnic grouping. So good news! Those of us from European ancestry (a lot of us) are in the position of having at least a few blonde shades that work for us because we all have that varying skin tone advantage. I am British-Welch-Irish-Swedish/Dane-Scottish-Norwegian-German – in that order of percentage, the DNA tells me. My ancestors were hanging around in northern Europe for a long time. Most of my family has blue or green eyes—still. Only when they marry someone with brown eyes (dominant gene) does the brown win out for their children. I am not a natural blonde, but a very light brunette. But now, since I know that skin tone is the big thing, I know that I can find a blonde shade that is right for me.


So, if you find yourself drawn to the blonde shades, you’re in good company. Listen, you brunettes, if everyone goes blonde or red, pretty soon YOU will be the scarce ones!

 


Until next time,


Vickie Lynn

 

Getting to Know Your Wig

Getting to Know Your Wig

Fear, uncertainty, anxiety? Yes, I had those feelings when I got my first wig. I asked all the questions that most people ask: Will it look real; what do I tell people; do I tell people; what if someone asks; how do I keep it on my head; what if it’s a very windy day—and on and on until we work a nice case of “nerves” and doubt.

Fortunately, there is help waiting in the wings. We just have to learn how to access it. This blog is meant to be one of those things that can help. This entire site is meant to do that as well. There are some remarkably knowledgeable women here to help you. There is not much about wigs that they don’t know. From caps to fibers, styling, and color, they have you covered. You have only to ask and take advantage of their helpful videos.

With help in mind, I recently did another quick poll on our Facebook page and asked a few questions there.

The first question that I asked was: How long did it take you to feel comfortable in a wig. In summary, they had some of the same experiences, but some took longer to acclimate to wig-wearing than others. Some had more fear about the process than others. Most took months to a year or more to feel truly comfortable in a wig. And by that, I don’t just mean physical comfort, which is important, but I mean psychological comfort. When you arrive at the point that you go all day without thinking much about your wig. When you can look in the mirror and just see yourself and don’t automatically zero in on your insecurities: does it look wiggy, is it straight, is it still too shiny…and you know the ones. The big take-away = BE PATIENT.

The second question: If you had to give a new wig wearer one piece of advice, what would that be. A summary/combo answer was: All women (and men for that matter) of all colors and ages can be empowered to wear wigs. The advice I heard repeated was to start with something close to your own bio hair, style, and color. Don’t expect it to look like your bio hair because you will think there is too much wig hair. That’s because you slowly (in most cases) got used to your thinning bio hair over time. So, anything much thicker will look “too thick” but it is likely not. You’re going to wonder if people are staring at you—they’re not. People are way more interested in their own hair, lives, thoughts (my comment).

The third question: Do you change styles and colors often, and if so, why? As you might expect, this question had the most variety. Some like seasonal changes, some go with their mood or event, and some like to stick with the same general style and color family that they feel suits them best. (These are women who know the difference in what they like versus what looks best on them, and that comes with experience.) For example, I “like” the long flowing lovely blonde wigs, but they look ridiculous on me for my face shape, age, and coloring. After several years of trying different looks, I have settled on my length range and the two colors that suit me best. I am now a happy and confident wig buyer!


The fourth and last question was just a fun one: Do you have a style and/or color that you like above all else. And most do, and again, that’s from experience. I hope this gives you something to think about along your journey. There is a lot to learn. From cap construction, fiber, care, styles, colors, and how to secure your wig. The beginning can be overwhelming and Wig Studio 1 is here to help. Our Facebook group is beyond offers advice, pictures, detailed instructions, and all kinds of different information from people who have gone on this journey before—join us there!

Advice from the pros: check out the wonderful videos offered by the Wig Studio 1 team who do such an unbelievable job, not only showcasing the wigs but educating us about how to make them work better for you.

To paraphrase Eileen and Marlene: Get in there with your hands and massage those roots, loose those fibers, and give that wig a good shake every time before you put it on! They have a bounty of good information to share with you, and I hope you take advantage of it. I only wish I had the benefit of their knowledge and a site like this one to help me when I started on my adventure.

Until next time,
Vickie Lynn

Think fall weather and fall wigs—and the holidays are coming!
(can you tell I am doing my part to try to push October in faster?)