Who is in Your Head?
(Wig shown above: Ready For Takeoff by Raquel Welch)
Of course, we all want to have approval from those we care most about, and that includes friends as well as family. From the time we were old enough to look around and observe others and our surroundings, we have been making judgments about what we see. It’s human nature to compare ourselves to our peers and to want to be as accomplished, attractive, and smart as those around us. And while we know we will be judged, sometimes we are our own harshest critic.
But what about your other critics? Did you grow up in a family with a strict parent with his or her own unbreakable code of what was good, bad, right, and wrong? Did your mother critique your looks, and did she key in on any perceived flaws and not mention the good? Does your spouse or significant other feel free to point out their opinions about everything, including your hair, clothes, and ideas, even if they are not asked? Do you have a friend or friends who you can count on to give you the once over and then point out everything they consider, not quite right? Or maybe that’s a sister, cousin, or other relatives. How do you take this in? Can you brush it off, or does it start to color how you think about yourself?
Even someone with a lot of confidence can be affected by constant negativity.
This is a common complaint with new wig wearers: “my husband/son/daughter/sister doesn’t like the wig on me.” Or hearing… “The wig makes you look….” fill in the blank. Sometimes, our friends or family member can’t even see that what they are saying is bothering us. Maybe they think their “constructive criticism” is something you want. Growing up I had an aunt whose mission in life seemed to be pointing out all of everyone’s flaws, to our faces, and with an audience. It was a great learning experience for me because I was careful to never do this to anyone. And I learned that not everyone’s opinion mattered.
As hard as it is, it is up to us to draw the boundary lines. Other than avoiding these people, is the only way to stop it. However, if we are asking for their input, we must learn to weigh what they say. How much weight does what they say carry for us? Is it out of proportion to reality? Are the person or people making critiques an expert on wigs or hair, for example? Are they just prejudiced when it comes to a color like blondes for example (do they love them or hate them)? Either way, it has no bearing at all on the blonde wig you just bought. Is it all about them or our wig purchase? It is crucial to figure that out before we take in any critique of our wigs.
The wig journey: No one warns you before you start down this path that you will have a psychological journey as well. It can be hard at times. Not only must you deal with your hair loss issues and try to wade through the vast amount of information on wigs, but you must also find one that you hope will work for you. One is rarely prepared to face an onslaught of opinions that others feel free to give.
My best advice is to always consider the source. Along with that, seek out help from professionals. Watch the wig demos on the WigStudio1 page, follow the reviewers on their pages, and soon you will feel more confident. It took me a while to learn that I just couldn’t take a wig from the box, plop it on my head and have it look like the woman in the ad. I had to get over the fear of “messing with it” and I had to learn how to style it.
Once you educate yourself about wigs, you will have the confidence to listen to your voice and learn to filter out others that have no real bearing on the issue at all.
Have a great holiday season, and remember, it is a good time of year to step out of our rut. If like me, you tend to stick with what you know works, sometimes you need a little incentive to try new styles and colors. It was like Christmas for me last weekend as I washed and put away three wigs and got out three others to start a new rotation. That reminded me that change is good and that trying new styles and colors can be very good.
For some reason, the shorter styles were calling my name. I put on Raquel Welch’s “Ready for Takeoff” and the cap was so comfortable that I hardly knew I had it on. Now, that makes me very happy.
Wigs and Romance
Whatever reason you have for wearing a wig, you should never feel shy about your decision. Whether you choose to tell others is your business, of course, and you shouldn’t feel pressure about it one way or the other. That includes telling those you have or hope to have romantic encounters now or in the future. You shouldn’t stress over it too much because there are things that you can do.
But yes, worry about it, you will, and that’s only natural. Will the wig slip, come off completely, and be a turnoff to your partner? All reasonable worries. As in most cases, every situation is different. A long-married couple where the woman is suffering a gradual hair loss, or a sudden loss due to a medical condition, might have a different conversation about wigs than someone just beginning to date someone special.
Only you will know when you have reached that level of trust and intimacy in your relationship. But it might be a conversation you will want to have early on so that you can plan accordingly. I have a good friend who when planning her first serious romantic encounter just said to her partner, “I have extensions in, so no pulling on my hair.” With so many women wearing helper hair of some sort these days, the guy thought nothing of it. She decided to leave the full conversation of actually wearing a wig (and not extensions) until she decided where the relationship was headed.
Or, think about this opposite scenario: the kiss, a darn great kiss, and things are going well, and then—the hands in the hair! Imagine the shock when you yelp, and he comes away with your wig in his hand. So, okay, another scenario: You have the conversation, but then what? How do you keep looking like you did when he/she first saw you and was attracted to you? How do you look and feel sexy while keeping the wig in place?
Now, the time has come. Do you secure the wig and hope it never becomes an issue? Do you try to sleep with the wig (there are ways to secure it without doing a lot of damage) and hope to pull it off? Even if you have told your partner that you wear a wig, and they say they’re fine with it—have they seen you without it? A lot of women just don’t want to go there, especially if they don’t yet know if the relationship will lead to a permanent situation.
Whatever you decide about sharing your wig wearing, there is no right or wrong, and no rule. Each of us will need to decide this for ourselves. But if you do decide to keep your wig on all the time, including in bed, there are some tips that might come in handy.
· Though sleeping in a wig on a nightly basis is not recommended, you can wrap your head to help keep hair in place and this will be cutting down on the friction that is the culprit.
· Sleep on a silk or satin pillowcase
Some methods to secure your wig (for day and night)
· Wig Tape
· Wig Glue
· Wig Grips
· Wig Caps
· Bobby pins
· Wig Clips
All of these methods will help secure your wig. Again, it’s a personal issue. You will know or soon know after some trial and error, what works best for you. It’s also important to know that each method has pros and cons. A special tip: save your aging wig as a “sleep wig” if you have more than one wig in the same style. This is especially helpful if you prefer to keep your wig wearing more of a secret.
Most wig wearers that I know have found the fun part of wigs. We love the flexibility of choosing styles, lengths, and colors. We love the time we save in front of the mirror every morning, and being able to match the wig to our mood, or an occasion. We love not sitting in a beauty salon for hours for cuts, colors, highlights, whatever. As in everything in life, wigs come with pros, and cons, and require us to make choices, and decisions, and we learn as we go. We learn which brands, styles, and colors work for us along the way.
Take a deep breath and dive in. Nothing is perfect, nothing good comes without some effort, and wigs are no exception. But when I look at myself in the mirror “before and after” well, I must say, I’m grateful for the pros and can live with the cons.
Happy wig wearing, and take a look at all the spring/summer styles. Wow!
Until next time,
The Nouveau Collection | JON RENAU
ORDER TODAY for a new wave in your style!
*Shipping starts on May 2nd, 2022*
Wig Studio 1
Hair Loss –The Severe Emotional Impact on Women
(Wig shown above: MAY WIG BY NORIKO)
For those of us who have dealt with hair loss, for whatever reason, or find ourselves dealing with it now, this is not news. We know that hair loss is generally more accepted in men, despite women accounting for 40% of all hair loss sufferers in the US. Hair loss, regardless of gender, can be devastating. It can dent a person’s self-esteem and negatively affect their overall quality of life, the experts tell us. Yes, this is not news to those of us dealing with it every day.
It seems experts agree, however, that women are significantly more likely to suffer emotionally as a result of hair loss and that one in three women will, at least temporarily, suffer from hair loss at some point in their lives.
“Hair loss in a woman is so emotionally devastating that it can trigger a wide range of social and emotional issues that can negatively impact healthy daily living and overall quality of life. I have heard of women that retreat from social situations has diminished work performance, and even alter their healthy living – avoiding exercise, overeating, not treating other medical illnesses – due to their hair loss,” said Dr. Francis. “Due to societal perception differences, it is much more emotional for women, as there is limited cosmetic acceptance of a bald woman. increased societal pressure on a woman to be attractive. The negative quality of life is worse in women.” (Medical News Today)
I have written about this before, but the current talk I am seeing on social media, inspired me to highlight this subject again. It seems that there is a great gap between the need for more research, more help from pharmaceutical companies, more educated doctors (on this subject), and the reality. There has been much more research and activity in the area of male baldness and its cure.
So, here we are, and we must be our advocate for change. We must be the ones leading the way in asking why more has not been done to find the causes and cures. We must step out of the “box of shame” and tackle the issue just as if we were fighting for a cure for any other condition.
The challenges will be different for everyone. There is no one rule about how to handle this, and there is no one answer. Finding answers will be different for everyone, and the acceptance process will be different for everyone. No matter if you are an introvert or extrovert, or always confident or not so much, losing one’s hair is a huge issue. Your hair has been with you all your life; it has been a part of your identity, the way people see you, and who they think you are to some degree. You’re the girl, lady, woman with the long brown hair and silly laugh, or the person with the cute blonde pixie and full of energy. People see you and your hair is part of it. Now your hair is betraying you—your body is betraying you. How you deal with that can make a big difference in your life, but you will need to deal with that, and how you do that will depend not only on the reason for your hair loss but how much support you have.
I am not a psychologist, but one of my best friends is, and I didn’t even talk to her about my experience for a long time, and after I had dealt with it all myself. If you have someone to talk to it can help, even if they know nothing about wigs. Wigs are done so well now that there is no reason for you to ever tell anyone that you are wearing a wig unless you want to do that. Learn about wigs and what is available for you. Take advantage of our wig blogs, helpful demonstrations, YouTube videos, and other forms of education. You can learn not only about wig options but wig construction and care. Ask for help if you need it, that is the most important thing.
Until next time, fight the good fight.
Topper or Wig – how to decide and when
If you’re reading this you likely know what a topper is, and the difference between a topper and a wig. But maybe you are struggling to decide which is best for you now. To begin with, a topper is what it seems to be. It sits on top of your head to cover hair loss, from beginning to advanced. Most are made pretty much like the usual and come with combs/clips sewn in to attach them to your biological hair. I read that there are no other options on the market, a headband grip system to do away with the clips. So, more advancements are always good news.
Here is where it gets tricky. There are varying lengths of toppers. You will need to monitor your hair loss to know when to,
1. Buy a topper to cover a larger area, or 2. Make the leap to wig-wearing. Like wigs, toppers are made to look as realistic as possible. Toppers have another goal as well, they must blend in with your hair color and style. Some people, especially those with moderate or advanced hair loss, bypass the topper altogether. As you can see it’s a personal decision and one that can be updated as time goes on.
Prepare in advance. Know (measure) the area on your scalp so that you will know the exact size topper to fit your needs. Matching the color is yet another challenge you have with a topper and not with a wig.
Some people can use hair toppers forever. Some have a minimal loss or just mildly thinning hair and like to wear toppers to enhance their look. They may or may not ever consider a wig. But there are a few reasons why someone would want to transition to a wig.
Progressive hair loss is the primary reason. Eventually, a topper won’t do the job. And as mentioned before, getting that color match between topper and hair can be tricky. Sometimes people just want a break from the clips and the added stress they can put on biological hair, depending on the situation. The convenience of wig-wearing can also be a deciding factor. You choose any style and color, and there are. No matching, blending, and clips.
The good news is that there is something for everyone. No matter your hair loss, minor, major, temporary, or longer-lasting, there is help for you. Consider your lifestyle, budget, and expectations. Ask questions, measure your head, understand the different types of caps. Also, get educated about wig fibers, and how to take care of them. Learning to take care of your wig will be one of the most important things you learn about wigs. Doing the right things will extend the life of your wig, and it will look better much longer.
We are all individuals with different challenges and expectations. It is great to know that we now have more options than ever when it comes to helper hair. When you combine these options with the amazing customer service you get at Wigstudio1, you can be assured that you will be a happier topper or wig wearer. I hope this information helps and know that Wigstudio1 customer service is ready and willing to help you in your journey.
As for me, a devoted wig wearer, I’m about to go blonder, a “jump” from my usual shaded cappuccino. I just can’t decide which style I want to “jump” with. Wish me luck. I’ll post a picture if I ever decide. Blonde but not too blonde, shorter but not too short, one with body but not much permatese, one not too “young” but not too “old. Yes, you see my problem.
Until Next time, and if you see my perfect blonde wig out there, let me know,
What’s Your Fear?
Or maybe what are your fears, plural. If you are in the early stages of hair loss and trying to make the big leap to helper hair, there are fears. Sometimes we just need a little push to get on with things. I hope this helps you do that.
You won’t be the first or the last to face what I call the big eight fears:
- People will notice the change, and what do I say?
This is a very personal question because there is no one answer for everyone. The short answer is yes, people will notice, so be prepared for questions and comments ahead of time. You will feel less stressed about any encounters. If you have had a lot of hair loss and many have seen that, and now you go with a wig, yes, people will likely notice. What you say or do not say is up to you. If you have early-stage hair loss but know there will be more and you are now at the point of getting helper hair then some may not notice if you stick to your current style and color.
- Is this it—will I always have to wear helper hair and be stuck with this style? This is a difficult one because some people will regain their hair, but some people won’t. Those of you who know that your situation is such that yes, now you must come to terms with this hair loss as a permanent thing, it’s a leap into the unknown. But know, you can change wig styles and colors just like you did with your bio hair.
- This is it day! Taken from number two above and going further, once you commit, realizing it is an ongoing one—that can be scary. Wearing helper hair will be part of your life now. If you need help in dealing with that, there is help out there for you.
- How will this affect your life going forward? Can you still do the things that you want to do? From swimming to riding a roller coaster, this question comes up a lot. In most cases, with some modifications, you can still go about your life as before. There are also many helpful articles, videos, etc., about this topic.
- The expense for the topper or wig, the accessories, and products required for maintenance. Yes, this is always a question, but in my experience looking at cost, I found that I spent just as much at the hair salon before when averaged out over a year. Unless you go crazy with buying a lot of wigs (which I don’t recommend until you learn what wigs work best for you), the cost should not be that different if you had regular salon hair care.
- The Learning Curve! Where do I start? That is the big question always. It is not uncommon to feel overwhelmed. Again, I urge you to reach out for help. There are wonderful articles, helpful videos, and a great customer service team waiting to help you. You are not alone! You will be amazed at how many people wear helper hair.
- I won’t ever be the same. These words can have many meanings, and if we stop and consider that we can say these words every day about life in general. Each day brings a new reality. We are another day older, another day wiser if we’re lucky, and we adjust. Accepting your hair loss and embracing the help that is there for you will make all the difference in how you see your days going forward.
- You can’t stay half in and half out forever. Yes, at some point you must get out of the house with that wig or topper that you bought and are afraid to wear.
Most women have experience facing fears, lots of them. We deal with judgment, discrimination, relationships, job pressures, health concerns, aging, and maybe marriage and children. At different points in our life, we had fears about all these things, but we kept stepping forward. This is just one more thing to step up to, over, or around, and claim another victory for yourself.
Leave your fears behind and know that all that time you spent in front of the mirror moving your thinning hair around, trying to conceal the issue, worrying if people could tell, is now a thing of the past. Be kind to yourself as you go through the learning curve. Don’t expect to learn everything in a day or even a month. But you will learn, and you will find the vendors you like best, the fibers you prefer, and the colors that work best on you. It’s a process and can be fun, believe it or not. In the end, you will save time, money, and stress. You will wonder why you didn’t do it sooner!
Wishing you a happy new hair day,
Who do you think you are?
It’s one of life’s ironies (and challenges) that we must keep re-inventing ourselves as things change in our life. Whether it be the many changes we go through to reach adulthood or now, as adults, the changes we must accept and deal with, whether it be by choice or circumstance.
We all have our milestones—graduation, dating, marriage, children, empty nest, and many others that are different or in-between all these. All along the way, we must put our best face forward as the saying goes. We play our part, and we must be the star in our current role no matter what it is. We may be a daughter, son, sibling, friend, employee, partner, wife, husband, but no matter what the title, there is a “real you” underneath that face we put on for every role that we play.
It’s not that we are phony, but we do wear a mask much of our life. We put on one for each of our roles. We’re not exactly the same when we are with our mother as when we are with our best friend or co-workers—you get the idea. But what does this have to do with wigs you may be asking? When one loses their hair, especially a woman, it can bring about a real identity crisis. Hair loss can come on sudden, or take years, or it can come as a result of medical treatment, but whatever way it comes, it is disruptive to our life and our identity. For years we may have been that person with long brown hair, short blonde hair, curly hair, and so on. But now what are we—the person with no hair, or almost no hair? And what does that mean? How do we re-invent ourselves when this happens? We need to remember: We are still the same person as always—just without our old hair.
There’s no getting around the fact that when we lose our hair we lose a part of ourselves—what has always been there may now be no more. It’s a shock, and our self-image is disrupted, and that can affect our lives in many ways. As strong as we may be, as efficient, capable, loved, loving, nice, kind—it doesn’t matter. A loss is a loss and must be dealt with, and often with very little help from others. It’s often the case that others don’t know how to help, or maybe we keep our situation a secret. Regardless, we must deal with sorrow, pain, fear, anger, shame, the best way that we can. For a woman, hair loss means that we are losing one of the things that help identify us as such. Our hair looks different from men’s hair, mostly. We need to remember: We are still the same person as always—just with different hair!
I’m glad I’m living in this time in history (when it comes to wigs anyway) because I know that I can walk down the street, go to any event, meet strangers and friends, and no one will know that I am wearing a wig unless I tell them. Wigs are just that good today. All kinds of people get all kinds of help every day to replace all kinds of losses. Whether it be hair, teeth, limbs, and even organs, we are living in a time where we have options so that we can still be who we thought we were with some help and adjustments. We need to remember: We are still the same person as always—just with lots of different hair to pick from now!
My hope for you is that you never forget who you are as you face your challenges, whether it be hair loss or other types of losses. We will all have them. No one gets out of this life without scars my grandmother used to say. She also said to wear them as a badge of honor because it shows how strong we are. That’s not to say we won’t have some dark moments and look in the mirror and get so angry that we don’t have the hair we had at twenty-five, and we wonder for the millionth time, “why me”?
When I am tempted to say, “why me,” I think of my grandmother who lost her husband before she was forty and was left with six children to raise during the depression. When I was growing up it was all just something in the history books to me. I didn’t connect it to her because I never once heard her complain about it, not even about losing their ranch in Texas. Nor did I hear her complain about the food and materials rationing during the war or hear about her fear when she watched two of her three sons, still teenagers, go off to that war. I never once heard my uncle complain about losing one of his legs. My grandmother never forgot who she was, nor did my uncle. They both got on with their lives. They are my inspiration when times get hard.
I don’t know if I could have endured what my grandmother did without complaining but knowing about it helps me keep things in perspective. In the end, no matter what we have to face, we find our way. We know that though we do play many roles in life if we remember who we are, that will keep us going.
Until next week,
Vickie Lynn saying,
Be proud of who you are, just like these English swans in a lake near London, this past winter. The bad weather doesn’t stop them from being what they are and from doing what they are meant to do. (Picture from my cousin who lives in London and never fails to walk no matter the weather).
Show and Tell?
Though I blogged about this a while back, it has come up again in recent Facebook posts and elsewhere. So, I wanted to re-visit this topic. How much do you tell others about your decision to wear wigs? This is a decision everyone must make on their own. No one answer fits everyone’s situation.
My friend once said to me, “it’s a mind field of judgment out there” but that can’t be your concern. There is nothing we can do to stop someone from rendering judgment about anything we wear, eat, drive, or do. Humans will be humans. With this in mind, you must decide early on how you will incorporate wig-wearing into your life. Will you just tell your family and close friends? How will you handle telling (or not telling) work colleagues? Again, only you know the best way because only you know your level of confidence, and the dynamics of your relationships, both personal and professional.
Yes, but what about romance? That is a question that I see a lot. How and when or if—you should bring this up. This is tricky because trust places a big role here. I’d certainly not make it a conversation on a first or even second date. After all, if this is someone that you don’t know well, and may not see again, why put yourself through that stress? Now, the tricky part. If you do progress to a more serious relationship, an intimate relationship, then what—how do you prepare your partner ahead of time, or do you have to do that? Unfortunately, there are no rules about this and it comes back to you, your trust level with the other person, and the confidence that you are more than your hair.
If you do get to that point and are still not ready to have the wig discussion, there is one thing my friend recommended that worked for her and allowed her time to ease her way into having the conversation. When they got to the time when she knew their relationship had progressed to the next phase, intimacy, yet she was still not ready to have the wig talk, she told her partner that she had hair extensions in and to keep his hands out of her hair. Plain and simple, and that is what happened. She offered no other explanation until she was ready to, and that was months down the road when she was sure their relationship was one she wanted to cultivate. By then she knew what to expect from him in the way of a reaction, so she took the risk. It worked out for her, but I also know someone who took the risk and never heard from the guy again. But she realized that if she was dealing with someone that shallow, then him walking away was a good thing for her. Why waste your time on someone who judges others solely by their appearance.
If you are like friend number one and you want to take some time, then there are things that you can do to help. You can do as she did or you can just say up front that you are wearing a wig so please don’t mess with it and offer no further information. However, saying that will in all likelihood bring questions, so make sure you are ready to answer them. If you are in the early dating stages there are, of course, ways to secure your wig to keep it looking natural until you do get to a more serious point in your relationship.
What about your work colleagues? That can be handled any way you think best. Depending on the change in your look, you may have someone confront you about it. Only you know your work situation. If it’s just going to a lower density wig from your thinning hair, then you might not need to say anything. I worked with a woman who decided her thinning hair was becoming a confidence breaker so she got a log density wig that matched her bio hair color and length, and just wore it into work—and got compliments on her new haircut. And I take this opportunity to remind you of something that you already know—people are much too concerned about their looks and life to dwell too much on others. We are our own worse critics and this is a hard truth.
If you love wigs and want to wear different styles, and colors regularly to work, then you’ll just have to go for it and tell everyone what you’re doing. In a week or so, it will no longer be a topic. This is the jumping into the fire with both feet approach. Some people can handle it, some rather not make this attempt. Only you can decide.
I hate to end on a negative note but you will run into those, be they family, friends, or co-workers who will have something to say. There are people who seem to see their mission in life is to offer their opinion on everything, whether they know anything about the topic or not. In the case of wigs, I’ve found that it those who know nothing about them who feel they must their critique. Be ready for them. They will ask dumb questions, comment on the color and/or style, ask you the cost, and in general, make you uncomfortable if you let them. I have found a few well-chosen sentences can usually shut them down. Here are some retorts that I’ve heard used over the years by seasoned wig wearers.
“Why yes, it is a wig. Do you have wig or hair styling experience?”
“If you’re interested I can send you some information.”
“Costs vary. I can point you to a few good websites if need more information.”
“People wear wigs for all sorts of reasons. You must feel lucky that you don’t have to.”
“I like being a blonde, but hold on, I could show up as a redhead tomorrow.”
I could go on, but you get the idea. You really DO NOT owe anyone any explanation. How much you decide to “show and tell” is your decision. Don’t let someone force you into it before you’re ready.
Until next time,
Pull out that little bit of the magical witch in you and stand tall.
What I Wish I’d Known
I had that thought so many times, even if I didn’t say it out loud a hundred times during my wig journey. I polled our Facebook group of wig wearers and wig lovers to ask them an important question: What do you wish you had known when you started your personal wig journey? Here is a complication of their comments:
- My wig made me look so much younger!
- That my wig wouldn’t make me look like the wig model – and I’d need to think about what looks best on me.
- That I could trust a good online company and not overpay at a wig salon.
- How much easier my traveling life would become.
- I learned that mostly it was me over-thinking it all and that most people either couldn’t tell I was wearing a wig or didn’t care if they did.
- I needed the basics—how to measure my head, pick a cap, and the differences in caps.
- The difference in synthetics and human hair wigs and the care involved in each.
- How to “train” and style synthetic wigs to get a natural look.
- Don’t buy a wig on a whim, think about how it will look on you, how to care for it, and pay attention to cap construction and size.
- It’s important to be kind to ourselves about all this. It takes time to adjust to hair loss and that pain is compounded when we are expecting perfection right away with our wig education. It takes time.
- What fibers work best for my life – do I want to deal with human hair upkeep, and synthetics that require more TLC (HD fibers)? What are the pros and cons?
- How a lace front can make all the difference in how “real” a wig can look for those who don’t want bangs.
- Watch lots of reviews and see the wig on different people, and the colors in different lights before deciding. Lighting is tricky and can give you false ideas.
- The value of going to a wig shop to get accurate measurements and trying on wigs even if you don’t buy from them when first starting.
- Don’t decide to love or hate that first wig out of the box. Know it won’t look so great until you make it your own. Give it time before you put it back in the box to return.
- Don’t be afraid to work with the wig, train it, move the part if you can and want to do that, and make it your own.
- Know that wigs can be cut and styled just like real hair (mostly) so take it to a hairstylist you know, trust, and hopefully one who might have some experience with wigs.
- Don’t be afraid to ask questions!
- How to get rid of that “Barbie-hair-shine” to get rid of that fake look.
- How to secure the wig and knowing that it is different for everyone.
- What the heck is permatease? And then knowing that it varies by wig style. What you might hate in one style might work great in another. Permatease is not a bad word.
- What is a rooted wig, and why some are better than others?
- How to pluck hair from a part line to give it a more realistic look. Yes, it works!
- Do not use a hairbrush or regular comb on a synthetic wig.
- Buy products meant for wig fibers, not bio hair.
- You still must take care of your bio hair and scalp.
- Be careful of scams and buying from unknown sites or people.
- Understand the return policies of the company you buy from.
- Learning that paying a little more for a certain cap construction can make such a difference in how you feel after wearing a wig for ten to twelve hours.
- Being honest with yourself about what colors and styles work for you.
I am sure that most of you reading this will have experienced some of these things, had these thoughts, and maybe can add some of your own. I had to journey on my own for the most part. I didn’t know there were blogs like this, or Facebook groups (maybe there wasn’t when I started), but there is help out there now.
If I had to give any advice to new wig wearers, it would be this: Whether you wear wigs out of necessity or by choice, there are challenges, but that doesn’t mean that they can’t be overcome. My questions when I sit before the computer to look at new styles or think about new colors now are these: Will that look good on ME? Is this the right color for ME? Will I be comfortable with the care required to keep this style looking good?
My mantra: be honest.
In other words, Yes, that long wavy one is beautiful, BUT…I’d hate to maintain it, and my lifestyle just doesn’t fit with it. I move on. Yes, that blonde one is fantastic, but would I look like a washed-out zombie in it…I move on. You see where I’m going with this. In the end, it’s about what makes us look good so that we feel good about ourselves. If we feel good about ourselves we can be who we really are. Our wig is just another part of our preparation to meet the world, just like our makeup, clothes, and maybe our glasses. We just have the advantage of having options on those bad hair days! Take advantage of the amazing knowledge from WigStudio1 reviewers and staff. They can be your best friend when it comes to your wig journey.
Until next time, go out there and have a good hair day, and don’t forget to stop and smell the flowers.
Coming to Terms with Hair Loss – and the grieving process
It goes without saying that hair loss – regardless of gender – can be devastating. It can dent a person’s self-esteem and negatively affect their overall quality of life.
“Studies on the psychosocial impact of hair loss have found patients’ self-esteem, body image, and self-confidence to be negatively impacted.” 1. (Dr. Francis) “Known psychosocial complications include depression, low self-esteem, altered self-image, and less frequent and enjoyable social engagement.”
It seems experts are in agreement, however, that women are significantly more likely to suffer emotionally as a result of hair loss.
Dr. Francis goes on to say: “Hair loss in a woman is so emotionally devastating that it can trigger a wide range of social and emotional issues that can negatively impact healthy daily living and overall quality of life. I have heard of women that retreat from social situations have diminished work performance, and even alter their healthy living – avoiding exercise, overeating, not treating other medical illnesses – due to their hair loss.”
But why do women see a greater emotional impact from hair loss than men? I think we all know the answer to that: society puts far more pressure on women to stay young, beautiful—perfect.
For older women, hair loss is perceived as accelerated aging and women have to deal with a sense of loss of virility and sexual attraction to their mate as well.
Various studies all agree that hair loss may lead to depression, anxiety, and social phobia.
- Depression can lead to a feeling of low mood, lack of interest or pleasure in activities, loss of energy, and sleep deprivation.
- Anxiety can cause excessive worrying, difficulty in controlling those feelings, and a feeling of heightened tension.
- Social phobia or avoidance behavior follows on from the experience of anxiety symptoms, leading to social and economic suffering.
- Social anxiety disorder is characterized by the fear of humiliation or being judged negatively in social situations as well as the avoidance of such social or performance situations.
These symptoms can have a severe impact on an individual’s mental health, ability to work or study, and well-being.
One question that I see over and over: how long does it take to come to terms with this? There is no one answer for everyone, as you might expect. It depends on your support system, age, how you go through the grieving process, and how well you handle the loss.
Don’t make the mistake of thinking that you won’t need time to process this and actually grieve—or that there is a time limit allowed. Hair loss is a devastating loss like so many other types of losses. You need time to grieve and go through the stages of loss until you come out at acceptance.
Developing a relationship with a good wig company, one that has advisors on all aspects of wig-wearing and hair loss, is vital. You need someone on your side, and the more the better. In a time when you might still be in the throes of the grieving process, it is hard to make decisions. That is when you need to fall back on people who can help see you through to that acceptance stage.
What I have learned: Grief isn’t linear. It doesn’t involve clearly defined stages … It carves long, meandering, and varied paths that popular myths do little to prepare us for.
So, it is crucial to remember that you will bounce around in the acceptance stage and “backslide” now and then back into the grieving process. This is normal, so don’t beat yourself up about it. In the end, we get on with things, and for me, that meant finding wigs that made me feel like me, or even better—wigs that looked better than my bio hair even at its peak! We all have challenges in life, some more serious than others. I try to keep that in mind every day and try to be grateful that my challenge is one that has support from places like WigStudio1, and others going on the same journey.
As we go into the summer months, I have already pulled out my Muse, Classic Cool, Straight up with a Twist, and In Charge. I am ready for it. Hope you are too, but if not, reach out for help. Here on this site and/or the private Facebook group. You will find a lot of support along with wig-wearing expertise.
Until next time,
- Dr. Shani Francis, American Academy of Dermatology and director of the Hair Disorders Center of Excellence at Northshore University Health System in Illinois
The Scary Questions and Some Good Answers
Though you might find varying versions of these answers, these are the ones mostly agreed upon and what my own dermatologist told me.
- Will constant wig-wearing inhibit or permanently damage your bio hair?
Wearing a wig will not inhibit hair growth. The cells that allow hair to grow will still be able to function underneath your skin while wearing a wig. If you're worried about damaging hair that is growing back out underneath your wig, wearing a wig cap can help to protect the hair that is growing in.
- Will the continued use of adhesives cause my bio hair to break or cause permanent loss?
Some people do use heavy-duty adhesives when applying lace front wigs, and it is not uncommon for hair loss to occur with the repeated use around the hairline. The combination of irritating adhesives and tension on the hairline can cause damage, with receding hairlines occurring as an undesirable—but not an uncommon outcome.
What can we do to help prevent damage to our bio hair, and scalp?:
- Massage your scalp. Having a wig sit too tightly on your head can cause the blood flow to your scalp to be reduced.
- Take your wig off before bed. Most doctors and wig experts recommend that you do not sleep in your wig – it can cause tension on your hair and cause breakages, tangling, clumping, and other undesirable outcomes.
- Shampoo your hair--regularly. The key to healthy hair (and scalp) is keeping it clean. You don’t want your wig sitting on a dirty, oily scalp. Bad for your wig and your scalp and bio hair.
- Keep on top of trimming bio hair. It might be that you choose to wear a wig all day every day. That’s fine but don’t assume that you don’t need to trim your own hair or care for it as well as you did before your wig-wearing days. Don’t forget about your bio hair.
- Avoid putting damp hair under a wig. Having damp natural hair under a wig is not only extremely uncomfortable but can also promote the growth of nasty bacteria.
- Be careful when braiding your bio hair. Braiding can be seen as an easy way to keep your natural hair out of the way under a wig. But be mindful of your technique.
- Your bio hair can continue to lose moisture just like before. So moisturize and condition your bio hair if you notice your hair feeling dry after wearing your wig. To combat any bio hair and/or scalp dryness, try using hair oils, which can penetrate well, or other treatments you might prefer to restore its moisture and good health.
- Give your hair and scalp a break. If you have natural hair under a wig for a long period of time, it can be good to give your natural hair and your scalp a break for a few days from time to time.
- Wearing wigs brings its own particular challenges. While it is tempting to put our bio hair “on hold” and forget it longer than we would have before, that is a mistake.
- Anything we do over and over again that causes friction will have a result. This includes a poor-fitting wig, too tight wigs, and bands, and twisting and braiding (if done poorly).
- The constant friction combined with adhesives can take a toll on the hairline. Try different ways of securing your wig so that the hairline is not constantly irritated by the adhesive and tension.
In conclusion, my view is that while there are challenges in wig wearing like there are in a lot of things we have to tackle, once we get past the learning curve, it’s more fun than fear.
Take care of your bio hair, scalp, and your wig…
Until next time,