The holidays are right around the corner. Are you ready? It’s a gathering time, and sometimes you will be seeing old friends or family members you may not have seen in months or years. We all want to look our best, and our hair is a big part of our look, our style, and what makes us feel more confident. So…what happens when someone you barely know, or someone you may not have seen in a long time, asks about your hair. How do you respond when someone asks, “are you wearing a wig?”
Have you already had to deal with this? Maybe you have and you have your own responses ready based upon who asks, and how you feel about sharing your wig journey.
When asked how to respond to “Are you wearing a wig?” and the ever popular, “Is that your real hair?” Here are some responses from real wig wearers:
- I love it. Isn’t it great?
- Why do you ask?
- Yes, and here’s why (if you feel like sharing)
- Oh, that’s a sensitive question.
- Wig? What wig?
You get the idea. You will respond depending on your mood, who is asking, and your personality. I’m sure you have made your own responses or have some in mind. But if you are a new wig wearer, think about this and have your responses in mind so you won’t be caught off guard.
The good news is that it is much harder to spot a wig wearer these days. Wigs are more realistic than ever. But here are a few tips to help you avoid worrying about it.
What will give you away:
- Please, take that hair out of the box and own it. Don’t plop it on your head and expect perfection. You must make it your own. If you don’t know how to do that, learn before you wear it out. Don’t be afraid of your wig. Wigs are manufactured in a way that is “one fits a majority” in that you must customize it a little, and sometimes a lot, depending on the wig. That might include doing some heavy styling, using products, or taking it to a stylist.
- If you are not secure in your wig, it will show. It will call attention to the fact that something is not exactly as it should be. You will not move your head as naturally and might always be touching your wig or adjusting it.
- Too MUCH VOLUME is a giveaway! Yes, there are some “big hair” girls that are loathe to give that up, but nothing says “wig” louder than a big pile of hair on your head that nature could not have bestowed. Go for lower density, hand-tied wigs that look more natural if you want to avoid people asking you if you are wearing a wig. Yes, you say, but I like big hair. So, if that is you, go for it, but know that it will attract more attention. If you are okay with that, that’s just fine.
- Watch the hairline. Keep your wig at a natural hairline. If it is set too far back or forward, it will not look natural and won’t be as comfortable either.
- Color and style are the other two things that can draw unwanted attention to your hair/wig. Yes, women color their bio hair, and change their styles. But if you are trying to look as if you have real hair, and not share your wig secret, staying close to your natural color family, one that compliments your skin tone will work best. There are a range of colors that work for each person better. Find yours and have fun with styles.
In the end, it is up to you. Do you want to blend in and not have your wig a point of discussion, or you don’t care who knows you are wearing one, and have no problem discussing it? How you answer that will guide your decisions. There is no need for a bad first experience in wig wearing, or at any time. There is so much help out there, and you are certainly not alone on this journey.
Have a great holiday season, and join the Wig Studio 1 Facebook group for great tips on these topics and many more.
We all know that our hairstyle, color, and length can make a difference in how we look, and how we are seen by others. I’d bet that most of us have known someone who took ten years off their age by cutting and/or coloring their hair. When you are a new wig wearer it’s hard to be objective. The idea is to make us look better while giving us an acceptable level of comfort and security. A wig is an investment, so it must become a plus not a minus for us.
Yes, we want to look better, whatever our version is of that. But, as I mentioned, it’s sometimes hard to be objective about ourselves. When you put on that wig, do you look better? It’s all about what draws the eye. Where do you want your focal points to be? I know that at my age I don’t want them at my chin and neck, so I look for styles that have a bit more going on at the crown. I know that my face though not round, is a bit wide, so I try to keep styles below my cheeks rather than at my cheeks. We all have our challenges, and that prompted me to seek a professional stylist advice over the years.
Though wigs are different from natural hair in a lot of ways, the same rules apply when it comes to color, length, and style—for you individually. Most of us have learned through research and/or trial and error what does not work for us. Trial and error can work but can also be costly and frustrating. You may have researched it and talked to your stylists about what works best for you. There is nothing worse than getting what you thought was the perfect wig and finding it is not perfect for you, but rather perfect for the wig model.
The following are some of the questions the experts get asked time and time again, and I can see why because they were my questions and concerns too.
“The Most Asked” questions and concerns from stylists’ clients:
1. Center parts—not for everyone. They can make you look older. It takes away from the fullness of the crown. If you are young, it’s not so much a concern. Most people do tend to look better with more fullness at the crown. It draws the eye upward.
2. An ongoing should older women have long hair debate: If your hair is too long it can make you look older. They agreed that it doesn’t have to be short to work best for mature women, but long hair draws the face down, the eye down, especially with heavier bottom ends styles with a lot of volume. Do you want people to focus on your chin and neck? For longer styles think layers and less density. Women of all ages can wear long hair and look good, but the style and color can be crucial.
3. Manage your expectations. Understand what your style really is – meaning, what you like and what looks best on you may not be the same thing. Also, make sure you are using volume in the right places. How does your hairstyle work with you or against you to compliment your face?
4. If you have a full or very round face, watch for too much volume on the sides near the cheeks. A lot of hair there will make your face look wider. Try for more volume on top and a longer style that comes under the chin—not at the chin and curving around to accentuate more roundness.
5. If you have a long face, go for that side fullness and less volume on top. You can still wear longer styles if you like, just balance the hair with the face. Bangs are also good for long faces.
6. Where do you want the focus? What features do you want to highlight, or dimmish?
7. Bangs – handle with care was their advice. No thick straight across cut bangs unless you have a long face and even then, it can be tricky depending on the style. Thick straight bangs will “close your face” and make a round face look even more so. Their advice for most bang lovers is to keep it light, and don’t cover your entire forehead, ever. Keep your face open by making sure your forehead can be seen, at least part of it.
8. Color can make all the difference. Natural hair is not just one color. For wigs, you must have some shading and dimension to look natural. Know what colors work for you. For example, gold-blondes tend to age some people depending on their skin tone and undertones. For some people ashy shades make them look ill or washed out. Learn if you are cool, warm, or neutral in the color family, and pick your hair colors appropriately. A special note for over the fifties: Going too dark can look harsh and fake. Better to lighten up, and don’t be afraid to go salt and pepper or silver/gray.
9. Layers are important for styling, they keep things more balanced, and the look is less heavy.
10. Don’t use too much product. If your hair won’t move it dates your style, and makes you look older.
11. Visit a stylist and let him or her make your wig more you—have it tweaked to bring out the best in the wig so that your wig will bring out the best in you. It is a good investment especially if you have an expensive wig and wear it every day.
12. Be open to trying new styles. There is nothing that dates you more than keeping the same style for too many years.
Hope you picked up some useful tips.
Until next time,
Fear, uncertainty, anxiety? Yes, I had those feelings when I got my first wig. I asked all the questions that most people ask: Will it look real; what do I tell people; do I tell people; what if someone asks; how do I keep it on my head; what if it’s a very windy day—and on and on until we work a nice case of “nerves” and doubt.
Fortunately, there is help waiting in the wings. We just have to learn how to access it. This blog is meant to be one of those things that can help. This entire site is meant to do that as well. There are some remarkably knowledgeable women here to help you. There is not much about wigs that they don’t know. From caps to fibers, styling, and color, they have you covered. You have only to ask and take advantage of their helpful videos.
With help in mind, I recently did another quick poll on our Facebook page and asked a few questions there.
The first question that I asked was: How long did it take you to feel comfortable in a wig. In summary, they had some of the same experiences, but some took longer to acclimate to wig-wearing than others. Some had more fear about the process than others. Most took months to a year or more to feel truly comfortable in a wig. And by that, I don’t just mean physical comfort, which is important, but I mean psychological comfort. When you arrive at the point that you go all day without thinking much about your wig. When you can look in the mirror and just see yourself and don’t automatically zero in on your insecurities: does it look wiggy, is it straight, is it still too shiny…and you know the ones. The big take-away = BE PATIENT.
The second question: If you had to give a new wig wearer one piece of advice, what would that be. A summary/combo answer was: All women (and men for that matter) of all colors and ages can be empowered to wear wigs. The advice I heard repeated was to start with something close to your own bio hair, style, and color. Don’t expect it to look like your bio hair because you will think there is too much wig hair. That’s because you slowly (in most cases) got used to your thinning bio hair over time. So, anything much thicker will look “too thick” but it is likely not. You’re going to wonder if people are staring at you—they’re not. People are way more interested in their own hair, lives, thoughts (my comment).
The third question: Do you change styles and colors often, and if so, why? As you might expect, this question had the most variety. Some like seasonal changes, some go with their mood or event, and some like to stick with the same general style and color family that they feel suits them best. (These are women who know the difference in what they like versus what looks best on them, and that comes with experience.) For example, I “like” the long flowing lovely blonde wigs, but they look ridiculous on me for my face shape, age, and coloring. After several years of trying different looks, I have settled on my length range and the two colors that suit me best. I am now a happy and confident wig buyer!
The fourth and last question was just a fun one: Do you have a style and/or color that you like above all else. And most do, and again, that’s from experience. I hope this gives you something to think about along your journey. There is a lot to learn. From cap construction, fiber, care, styles, colors, and how to secure your wig. The beginning can be overwhelming and Wig Studio 1 is here to help. Our Facebook group is beyond offers advice, pictures, detailed instructions, and all kinds of different information from people who have gone on this journey before—join us there!
Advice from the pros: check out the wonderful videos offered by the Wig Studio 1 team who do such an unbelievable job, not only showcasing the wigs but educating us about how to make them work better for you.
To paraphrase Eileen and Marlene: Get in there with your hands and massage those roots, loose those fibers, and give that wig a good shake every time before you put it on! They have a bounty of good information to share with you, and I hope you take advantage of it. I only wish I had the benefit of their knowledge and a site like this one to help me when I started on my adventure.
Until next time,
Think fall weather and fall wigs—and the holidays are coming!
(can you tell I am doing my part to try to push October in faster?)