Yes, it is bound to happen. But we are still shocked and confused when it does. One day we are so happy with our wig, our look, and we are comfortable. Then the next day or the next, we look in the mirror and think, hum, am I in a rut? Suddenly that look, that wig that you loved, and still do, just looks sort of boring.
We all know that this happens in all areas of our life. We become tired of our clothes often long before they are old. We want to try new paint colors in our homes and change out the furniture in the living room. So, why should we be surprised that we sometimes need a change of hairstyle and/or color?
Changing your hair/wig style and color is so much easier and less costly than getting new furniture or a new wardrobe, so let’s take a look at that process. How do you decide what to try next? Are you ready to get out of your comfort zone? Or if you are like me, ready for a slight move but nothing to distract.
The great thing about wigs, and especially buying a wig from Wig Studio 1, is that you can get a lot of help before you make the big decision to buy a new wig in a new style and/or color. Between the just-for-you FaceBook group with input from staff and other wig wearers, you can learn about first-hand experiences and likely see a picture or two of how that wig looks on a real person.
I know that for me, seeing other wig wearers, and learning about their experience with certain brands and styles has been most helpful. The wig reviews on FaceBook and the reviewers on the YouTube channel are invaluable. Take advantage of all these resources because it might make your decision easier. It did for me.
In the end, the decision will be yours, and sometimes it helps to just give it some time. It will be to our benefit to do our homework, and to remember what it was we liked about our current wig(s) in the first place. What are we bored with exactly—color, style, length, wig cap? Once we have a clear idea of what it is we want to change it will help us narrow down our options.
One of the great things about wig-wearing is the ease with which we can make changes to our looks. I know what colors and lengths look best on me, and when I want to branch out, I normally go to something in the same color family and just change the style/length. This too can get boring, but I have two wigs sitting in boxes in my closet that I know I will never wear because I made an impulsive decision one day. But I also have a couple in boxes that I have recently re-visited and wondered why I had not been wearing them more often. The moral of the story, we do get bored, but we can also change our preferences. Though I know I will never wear the blonde wig with too much gold in it, I will very likely wear two other wigs I had put aside for reasons that I couldn’t recall when I was looking through my options.
I recently went for a longer style, and guess what? I loved it. As long as I have been writing about wigs, I can still be surprised. One of the many great things about wigs is that they let our imagination roam free. We can surprise ourselves as much as we can surprise others. Life is short, and we are often caught up in all we must do for others and ourselves, and sometimes we put ourselves last on all our lists. But if we are at our best, we can be our best for others too.
Don’t let yourself get into a rut with your style or color. Just do your homework, and don’t do it on a whim. When you are ready--change it up! Life is short. I will bet that, like me, you will be happy that you did. Embrace another version of your best self.
Me in my newest, Raquel Welch, “Crowd Pleaser” in shaded cappuccino.
Until next time,
Who are you? You are not just one thing. You are not just your looks, your personality, your wealth, or your job. You are many things. But as I talk to women who have lost their hair, for whatever reason, they all share a common idea. Their hair is part of their identity. I can understand that even though I know it’s “just hair” and it is not the sum of us. It doesn’t define us. But we have looked at ourselves in the mirror for X number of years and our hair has become part of what we see day after day, year after year. And then one day it looks different, or one day most is gone, or all is gone, and then what?
Oftentimes, when women lose their hair, whether temporarily or permanently, they feel the loss deep down as if they have lost something forever that was a part of who they are—or were. This can result in grief stages just like any loss. If you are new to hair loss and/or still in a grieving stage, be kind to yourself and know that you will find yourself again. I think that is why we just seem to know when we put that wig on if it is us or not. We can still see our real selves—we can see beyond the style, color, and the fact that it is a wig. We can see more than a flattering (or not) wig, we can see if that wig reflects who we are or not. You can bet that if you compromise on this, keeping a wig that you just can’t connect with, it will end up in a box. Or if not back in the box, you will make yourself wear it but will always be aware it is not you.
Unlike a new dress or shoes, a wig replaces your hair, something that you had for many years in most cases, and something you never thought you would be without. While men lose their hair and suffer from loss too, I am sure, they don’t seem to deal with it in the same way that women do. It was always more “acceptable” for men to lose their hair. For women, it has always been different, like a lot of things are for women.
While wigs can make a huge difference in how you see yourself in the mirror, and how others see you, it will begin to make a difference when you can look in that mirror and just see YOU. Then you will know that you have put the grief away, you have lived through it, and you are stronger for it. I think it took me a good while before I stopped seeing “wig” in the mirror and just started seeing myself. I worried every day for a long time that someone would look at me and figure it out. It was inhibiting and uncomfortable—and unnecessary.
One day out of the blue I remembered what my grandmother told me after my mother cut my bangs too short when I was in first grade. She took me aside as I was having a meltdown moment and looked me in the eye. (I have heard something similar from others in different ways since and maybe you have too) The gist was: “honey, remember that most people aren’t thinking about you or even seeing you, they are busy thinking about themselves.” This thought helped me as I went out into the world trying to still be me with my first wig. I wished my grandmother had been around so that I could have thanked her. But the day did finally come when I stopped watching other peoples’ eyes to see if they were looking at my head/hair/face. I just tried to look people in the eye and be myself—tried to project confidence. The more I did that, the more “me” I became. While for months at home, I still saw the wig first when I looked in the mirror, one-day things changed. I looked at the entire me, and that was the turning point. The real me and the me that I projected out to the world merged, and I was “back” at last.
Fast forward to now, and there is nothing but excitement when it comes to wigs and wig products, and I value being able to put my Muse on my head in five seconds, run my fingers through it and go. I am looking forward to shopping for more wigs for fall and winter. I just got a new one that I am kinda in love with. See my picture below.
Until Next time.
If you are like me, you have said multiple times during your wig journey, “oh, this is the one!” The falling in love with a wig process: After deciding on a color or two, the kind of cap that makes us happy, and a style or two, then we look—and look. We fall in love. There is no cure for it. But the magical thing about wigs is that even those you look at when you get it home and say, “hum” and you may put away—by some miracle when you get that wig out months later, you fall in love over again.
What makes us fall in love, out of love, and back in love with our wigs? No one knows, or if they do I wish they would tell me! I do have a theory though. It’s when magic meets reality, and we see that wigs just like people have flaws, but we love them anyway. Yes, we love them because they give us a new version of ourselves. We can be who we want to be. We can look casual, sophisticated, sporty, sexy, and everything in-between and in multiple colors. Never mind that there are the little hairs flying around on top, or that those long, beautiful styles that clump or frizz on the ends due to friction, make us cry and say naughty things. Yes, maintenance is a big deal on some styles. But if you love it, it’s worth it.
How much maintenance is required can make us love our wigs a bit less or a bit more. Yes, there are many things to consider when buying a wig, and the cost is just one of them. I try to think one thing: will this wig make me happy when I wear it, and let me forget that I’m wearing it? That is a big deal for me. I don’t want to go through my day wondering if my wig is secure if it looks “wiggy” or deals with a cap that is irritating. Love for me is more complicated than just how I look in the wig. It’s how I feel in it, and how comfortable I am in it in every way.
Maybe we need to be a bit more realistic about wigs and the maintenance thereof. There is no perfect anything, and that includes wigs. We make our choices based on many criteria, and we all know those. Cost, cap, style-length, color—and then do we think of maintenance? I admit that I did not think about it at all when I first started wearing wigs. I learned the hard way how important it is.
I love my wigs and I am truly grateful that there are so many to pick from these days. My attitude changes when I put one of mine on and get ready to go out to see the world. I know the world will be seeing me. I look in the mirror and see who I want to be, and that is worth a lot. Because I am happy and feel secure with my choice, I go about my day feeling confident, and that can make a difference in one’s day.
But to get back to the topic, the question at the beginning—of course, there is not “the one” at all. There are many and we have enough love to go around, right?
Thinking about those fall styles yet?
We all know that our hairstyle, color, and length can make a difference in how we look, and how we are seen by others. I’d bet that most of us have known someone who took ten years off their age by cutting and/or coloring their hair. When you are a new wig wearer it’s hard to be objective. The idea is to make us look better while giving us an acceptable level of comfort and security. A wig is an investment, so it must become a plus not a minus for us.
Yes, we want to look better, whatever our version is of that. But, as I mentioned, it’s sometimes hard to be objective about ourselves. When you put on that wig, do you look better? It’s all about what draws the eye. Where do you want your focal points to be? I know that at my age I don’t want them at my chin and neck, so I look for styles that have a bit more going on at the crown. I know that my face though not round, is a bit wide, so I try to keep styles below my cheeks rather than at my cheeks. We all have our challenges, and that prompted me to seek a professional stylist advice over the years.
Though wigs are different from natural hair in a lot of ways, the same rules apply when it comes to color, length, and style—for you individually. Most of us have learned through research and/or trial and error what does not work for us. Trial and error can work but can also be costly and frustrating. You may have researched it and talked to your stylists about what works best for you. There is nothing worse than getting what you thought was the perfect wig and finding it is not perfect for you, but rather perfect for the wig model.
The following are some of the questions the experts get asked time and time again, and I can see why because they were my questions and concerns too.
“The Most Asked” questions and concerns from stylists’ clients:
1. Center parts—not for everyone. They can make you look older. It takes away from the fullness of the crown. If you are young, it’s not so much a concern. Most people do tend to look better with more fullness at the crown. It draws the eye upward.
2. An ongoing should older women have long hair debate: If your hair is too long it can make you look older. They agreed that it doesn’t have to be short to work best for mature women, but long hair draws the face down, the eye down, especially with heavier bottom ends styles with a lot of volume. Do you want people to focus on your chin and neck? For longer styles think layers and less density. Women of all ages can wear long hair and look good, but the style and color can be crucial.
3. Manage your expectations. Understand what your style really is – meaning, what you like and what looks best on you may not be the same thing. Also, make sure you are using volume in the right places. How does your hairstyle work with you or against you to compliment your face?
4. If you have a full or very round face, watch for too much volume on the sides near the cheeks. A lot of hair there will make your face look wider. Try for more volume on top and a longer style that comes under the chin—not at the chin and curving around to accentuate more roundness.
5. If you have a long face, go for that side fullness and less volume on top. You can still wear longer styles if you like, just balance the hair with the face. Bangs are also good for long faces.
6. Where do you want the focus? What features do you want to highlight, or dimmish?
7. Bangs – handle with care was their advice. No thick straight across cut bangs unless you have a long face and even then, it can be tricky depending on the style. Thick straight bangs will “close your face” and make a round face look even more so. Their advice for most bang lovers is to keep it light, and don’t cover your entire forehead, ever. Keep your face open by making sure your forehead can be seen, at least part of it.
8. Color can make all the difference. Natural hair is not just one color. For wigs, you must have some shading and dimension to look natural. Know what colors work for you. For example, gold-blondes tend to age some people depending on their skin tone and undertones. For some people ashy shades make them look ill or washed out. Learn if you are cool, warm, or neutral in the color family, and pick your hair colors appropriately. A special note for over the fifties: Going too dark can look harsh and fake. Better to lighten up, and don’t be afraid to go salt and pepper or silver/gray.
9. Layers are important for styling, they keep things more balanced, and the look is less heavy.
10. Don’t use too much product. If your hair won’t move it dates your style, and makes you look older.
11. Visit a stylist and let him or her make your wig more you—have it tweaked to bring out the best in the wig so that your wig will bring out the best in you. It is a good investment especially if you have an expensive wig and wear it every day.
12. Be open to trying new styles. There is nothing that dates you more than keeping the same style for too many years.
Hope you picked up some useful tips.
Until next time,
A friend of mine was looking at the wig site and all she could say was, “Oh, that looks like so and so, mostly actors she had seen on television. Of course, she meant the HAIR looked like the style and color that person had worn or was currently wearing. I had to remind her that most of us choose to wear wigs that look good on us, not an actress or a model. And she asked the question that we have all asked, and still, do when we look at the wigs on the computer screen. How do I know it will look good on me?
I have written about this before but thought it was time for a refresher, and a reminder to myself and any others who might need it, especially those new to wig-wearing and that scary choosing process. And as a side note, please take advantage of the knowledgeable staff and reviewers at WigStudio1. Exceptional. I posted a picture of a wig to get color confirmation on the WigStudio1 FaceBook page, and I was answered in ten minutes, allowing me to make my final decision. That group is invaluable for many reasons, but I love it because I can see real people in different styles and colors, as well as links to great reviews.
With all that said, let’s review how the experts tell us we SHOULD be picking colors and styles:
My disclaimer - Though there is “collective wisdom” in the hair, wig, and beauty industry, it is an opinion, BUT because it really is collective wisdom, I am paying attention. In the end, it is you who has the final say:
While it's a beauty myth that women over 60 must wear their hair short, the real marker for whether you should be wearing your hair short is whether it would be flattering to your face shape and hair texture. This short hair look works best on those with naturally straight, medium-textured hair.
Does short hair make you look thinner or heavier? It is believed that short hair isn't suitable for women with round faces. (However, that's not totally true.) There are some cuts that do nothing for you, but some that can flatter your round face. The perfect ones will be cuts with choppy strands framing the face, asymmetric side-parted hairstyles, angled bobs/lobs, and styles with the volume on top of the head.
What is a good hairstyle for a 60-year-old woman? A wavy medium-length shag style is the best haircut for older women, especially women in their 60s plus. It looks flattering with bangs especially, and some say it can take about a decade off your age/look. Layers can mean more movement and a more youthful look. Shorter hair, which tends to expand at the ends, can leave you with an unflattering triangle effect. Whereas loose waves and that movement makes for a younger look. Beware that straight hair can age you, so play around with face-framing layers to give your hair some softness and movement.
The Ever popular and Debated “what hair for what face shape”:
(Here is what I found from the same so-called beauty “expert”):
· If Your Face Is Heart-Shaped: Wispy, Layered Cut.
· If Your Face Is Oval-Shaped: Angular Bob.
· If Your Face Is Square-Shaped: Shoulder-Length Cut.
· If Your Face Is Round-Shaped: Pixie Cut – What? Isn’t this the reverse of what this same expert said before?
· If Your Face Is Long-Shaped: Side-Parted curly bob
Everyone has an opinion. For example, I would not wear a pixie cut with a round face unless I had small delicate features. So, take this “collective wisdom” with a grain of salt. I think it’s about a bit more than face shape. It’s about hair color, hairstyle, density, texture, and one’s attitude too.
Can changing our hair color make us look younger? (an always popular question)
I think we can all agree this can be true. Here again, are some “experts” weighing in. What do you think? Again, I think it depends on skin tone and condition, and the hairstyle and volume. I am not a fan of gold tones because it doesn’t go with my complexion, but it works for many others. So we see again that these blanket declarations may not be right for everyone. Also, I have seen many women who can totally rock the white hair with no gold tones. But I do agree that tone can be important, and shading, highlights, and all those things can make or break a look. What I learned in my quest was that there are a lot of variety in gold tones, and it’s not good to rule out everything in that range. Again, take the following “expert’s declarations” with a grain of salt:
· Blonde. As we age many people experience premature gray. For blondes, this can look ashy and age the complexion. Rather than keep your tresses platinum or white, add some gold tones to your highlights and you’ll soften your skin tone.
· Red. Adding warmth to red and strawberry blonde hair has the same effect as adding warmth to blonde. It makes you look healthier. Ditch the blue reds and select something warm to add a youthful glow to your tone.
· Brunette. Lighten up dark roots with caramel highlights and you’ll ditch the drab. A few highlights will soften your look and recapture the youth of summer days long past.
· Black. This is tricky. Black hair can be undeniably mysterious, but when in doubt – leave the blue out. A warm shade of black looks more natural and believable than Elvira’s blue-black, and there’s nothing worse than an off-tone box job look, no matter your age.
In summary, everyone has an opinion. Most women have had enough hairstyles and colors that they have learned what looks best on them. If you are a new wig wearer and get close to your bio hair color family, you will likely be more comfortable with that to start. Are you a brunette who has always wanted to be a blonde? Great, but what shade of blonde? Knowing your skin tones will help you decide.
The hair color that looked good on us at twenty-five may not look so great now. Don’t be afraid to experiment a little. Yes, buying the wrong wig is annoying, but you can cut down on the chances of buying a color that doesn’t suit you by knowing how colors and tones work with your skin. Look at the colors in your wardrobe. What do you gravitate to or have more of in your closet? That will give you a clue if you are warm, cool, or neutral in the tone family. Once you know that it is easier to pick a wig color that will have shades/tones to compliment your skin tone.
I may have made a color jump myself and will share that picture next time.
Until next time,
Happy short Wig Season (for me anyway)
It’s the holidays, a gathering time, and sometimes you will be seeing old friends or family members that you may not have seen in months or longer. We all want to look our best and our hair is a big part of our look, our style, what makes us feel more confident. So…what happens when someone you barely know, or someone you may not have seen in a long time asks about your hair. How do you respond when someone asks, “are you wearing a wig?”
Of course, you may have already had to deal with this, and you have your own responses based upon who asks, and how you feel about sharing your wig journey. But here are a few answers that I received when I asked wig wearers this question:
When asked how to respond to “Are you wearing a wig?” and “Is that your real hair?” Here are some responses from real wig wearers:
- I love it. Isn’t it great?
- Why do you ask?
- Yes, and here’s why (if you feel like sharing)
- Oh, that’s a sensitive question.
- Wig? What wig?
I’m sure you have your own responses. The good news is that it is much harder to spot a wig wearer these days. Wigs are more realistic than ever. But here are a few tips to help you avoid worrying about it.
What will give you away
- Please, take that hair out of the box and own it. Don’t plop it on your head and expect perfection. You must make it your own. If you don’t know how to do that, learn before you wear it out. Don’t be afraid of your wig. Wigs are manufactured in a way that is “one fits a majority” in that you must customize them. That might include taking it to a stylist.
- If you are not secure in your wig, it will show. It will call attention to the fact that something is not exactly as it should be. You will not move your head as naturally and might always be touching your wig or adjusting it.
- Too MUCH VOLUME! Yes, some “big hair” girls are loathed to give that up, but nothing says “wig” louder than a big pile of hair on your head that nature could not have bestowed. Go for lower density, hand-tied wigs that look more natural if you want to avoid people asking you if you are wearing a wig.
- Watch the hairline. Keep your wig at a natural hairline. Set too far back or forward, it will not look natural and won’t be as comfortable either.
- Color and style are the other two things that can draw unwanted attention to your hair/wig. Yes, women color their bio hair and change their styles. But if you are trying to look as if you have real hair, and not share your wig secret, staying close to your natural color family, one that compliments your skin tone will work best. There is a range of colors that work for each person better. Find yours and have fun with styles.
In the end, it is up to you. Do you want to blend in and not have your wig a point of discussion, or you don’t care who knows you are wearing one, and have no problem discussing it? How you answer that will guide your decisions. There is no need for a bad first experience in wig-wearing, or at any time. There is so much help out there, and you are certainly not alone on this journey.
Have a great holiday season and join the WigStudio1 Facebook group for great tips on these topics and many more.