As I have written about in previous blogs, there is a psychological impact of hair loss, like any other loss, so I don’t want to make light of it, or the pain caused by it. But to linger in the stages of grief too long can hurt us too.
So along with those grief processing steps that famously end in acceptance, let’s look at some things to think about along with way.
- Your Perspective: You know by now that you are your own worst critic. We’ve all heard it and it is true – you are harder on yourself than anyone else is. This also means that you probably view your hair loss more critically than others do.
- Your Feelings: It’s not the end of the world, and there are many worse things many other people must deal with—right? Yes, we know this, and some of us might have even had that sentence directed at us. Knowing it and internalizing it is a different thing. It takes a little time, so don’t be too hard on yourself. Learning to live with your hair loss is a psychological challenge but it is only as difficult as you make it—however, we need tools to deal with it just like any other problem or challenge.
- Your Solutions: Find help if you need it. Most of you who read this have long since gone to the doctor and you know all about your hair loss, but now you need a different kind of help. You need help from people who know about wigs and wig care. You need to find others who are dealing with this—you need support from those who can understand.
- Your Options: Professional therapy is there for you. If you’re still having trouble coping with your hair loss, some professionals can help you work through those grief stages. Don’t write off your pain because you are afraid of being seen as weak. Issues with anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem can impact your mental health both in the short and long term. Get the help that you need and don’t feel bad about it for one second.
We may not have a choice about losing our hair, but we can choose how to respond. We can refuse to live in denial and allow hair loss to destroy our confidence and quality of life. Getting the help that we need is the first step. Learning about wigs and how they can enhance your life is the next step and just as important. Talk to people who know about wigs, and don’t be shy about asking questions. I’ve found that most people do want to help if we just ask. I find this especially true in the wig community because a lot of the people have gone through the same challenges themselves. They know about the feeling of loss, dealing with self-esteem issues, going through the stages of grief, and getting to acceptance—and then going on to help others.
Things NOT to do:
Please don’t give up after trying just one or two wigs. You will likely feel the same as a lot of people: the wig has too much hair (because you are not used to seeing yourself with a thick head of hair), and the fit is not right. Granted, some wigs do have a lot of hair, but you should know that some have a lower density and no permatese if that is what you like best. In other words, don’t make quick decisions. There is a wig cap learning curve as well. Did you measure your head? Do you know about the different cap styles/construction? Also, know that it will take a while to get rid of the feeling that something is sitting on your head.
Don’t think that you will look like the wig model. Have realistic expectations. Your face shape, coloring, and age may or may not be the same as the models. Even the length of your head and neck will be different, causing the wig to look longer or shorter on you, perhaps.
Don’t be afraid to put your hands in and on your wig. This can be tricky because you don’t want to mess up the “factory part” if there is a chance you might want to return the win. If you know you like it and will keep it, get in there and style it. Very few wigs come right out of the box looking great. Don’t be afraid to use the proper products on it to make it your own look. Put clips in or wear a headband to add an even more realistic look.
Don’t give up because you haven’t found the right way to secure your wig. And by “right” I mean the way that works for you. Different people like and use different methods. I am a “purist” in that I like nothing but an occasional clip or bobby pin to secure mine if I go to the dentist. But I have found a cap that fits me well. Also, I don’t do a lot of up and down, running around, being outside, etc., that might require a more secure means. So, as you can see, securing your wig is a very personal choice. Find what works for you and your life.
A happy ending—yes, there is one. Before you know it you will be a pro in your own right. You will know all about caps, fibers, heat-friendly wigs, and how to care for them. You’ll know which colors and styles flatter you—and there is when the fun begins. You have options! Just take a look at the website today—wow.
Until next time, remember, we must make many choices every day. Today, let’s Choose to be Confident.
Vickie Lynn --and Ollie the Owl (sitting among my violets in my living room looking very confident indeed).
One major plus regarding heat-friendly hair is the ease at which you can revise the style. For example; beachy waves, whether it be too much or in this case, not enough. This is so often a challenge many of us have encountered when we like a style so much we understandably order it again. Sometimes I want a backup or another color. To the chagrin of myself and many wig sisters, patterns of curl inconsistency abound in wig land.
In this blog/ video we shall embark upon reinforcing and revising a rather limp beachy wave on a very popular style; Caliente HF (heat friendly) by Belle Tress in the gorgeous new color: British Milk Tea.
You will need: the patience of a saint, a wig head on which to secure your victim, a rat-tail comb, blow dryer, and either spiral-type Curlformers or a reasonably close item resembling such. (Shown in the video as many options are now available). These types of curlers can be obtained from Amazon in various price ranges and are reusable.
Optional: Estetica Design Sea Salt Spray.
T-pins may be used to secure the wig on the head (not yours). One pin on each ear tab and one pin at the nape area. Avoid going anywhere near the delicate lace front.
Note: Steam will NOT be used. The method depicted is for heat-friendly fibers ONLY. Not to be used on regular synthetic fiber as the dry heat from the blow dryer is too hot in temperature and will fry the fibers on a regular synthetic piece.
It is recommended that the curlers be left in overnight for the curl to cool and set. In closing, thank you for reading and I hope you enjoy the show as we tackle another wig life challenge.
You will need: A wide-tooth comb, a rat tail comb, a styrofoam, or a canvas head. A steamer of some sort, flat iron with an adjustable temperature control, and a hot air brush. T pins or hat pins. Jon Renau's HD Smooth Detangler and distilled water. Optional: Silicone spray. Not Optional: a lot of patience.
- Using a wide-tooth comb gently comb through your heat-friendly wig with extra attention to the ends in conjunction with misting the hair with Jon Renau's HD Smooth Detangling spray. This product assists in the process of hydrating the heat-friendly fibers.
- Carefully turn your wig inside facing out; handling with care.
- Place your wig on a styrofoam or a canvas head. T pins may be used to secure the wig. Pins can be placed one on each ear tab and also one pin affixed to the nape area of your wig (avoid any contact with the lace front or monofilament areas, best to steer clear of the cap area).
- Begin the steaming process as demonstrated in the video, concentrating on the ends where most likely frizz and tangling are concentrated. (Consider wearing gloves as the steam gets very hot).
- Next: turn the wig with the outside facing you to continue the steaming process.
- While still damp from the steam, and if not sufficiently damp, mist additionally with distilled water. Next: use the flat iron approximately 270 degrees Fahrenheit or less for one pass through as you section the wig in small sections using the end of your rat-tail comb or fingers.
- A second pass through with the flat iron may be indicated.
- Optional: Silicone spray/product may be lightly applied to the ends, however, rub between your ungloved palms to first heat up the silicone. A dime-size amount should suffice. Simply Stylin, Paul Mitchell Super Skinny Serum, or any silicone type product that is safe for synthetic hair may be used.
- Next: Utilize a hot air brush to customize and style hair as desired. This is very helpful for straight styles for a soft, sleek, and natural-looking result.
- Optional: Mesh hair rollers may also be used when hair is still warm from using the hot air brush if desired. Secure with clips or T-pins allowing the fibers to cool down which ensures definition, then disengage the roller when completely cool. See video for technique.
I hope this blog with accompanying video demystifies the process of restoring your heat friendly/heat defiant alternative hair to its former glory. If I can do it, you can too. There are several ways to achieve this end result, however, this is what has worked for me.
Straight Press HF 18” by BelleTress in the color Roca Margarita Blonde volunteered for this video. This style and many other beautiful heat friendly/heat defiant alternative hair units are available at Wig Studio 1.
Hope to see you all in upcoming blogs and in the private Wig Studio 1 Wig Topper and Support Group on Facebook.