What is Self-Blind?
Wig Shown Above: Femme & Flirty Wig by Gabor in color GL8-29
This started off to be about wig caps, but it grew into a broader topic—how to move ahead in our wig journey, and how to see ourselves as we are today. Yes, picking the right cap is important and I will cover that here, but it’s just one of many things we must look at on our ever-evolving wig journey.
First, let’s look at some basic things that all wig wearers must figure out: I never gave much thought to the size of my head. After all, a head is a head, I thought. This was before I got into wigs of course—literally and figuratively. No two heads are exactly the same. Though you might match certain measurements to most heads in general, you may not have considered the measurement from crown to chin, across the cheek bones or paid much attention to the forehead.
We are so used to seeing our face multiple times a day that we stop really seeing it. My face? Yes, when you get a wig home and it doesn’t resemble the look you saw online or in a magazine, and you wonder why—I can tell you. It might be because your head and face structure/shape is nothing like the model’s face. No, I don’t mean looks—is she younger, prettier, not as pretty as you, etc., no, I mean the actual face structure.
And now some hard questions that you need to think through in order to be happy with your wigs. You want your wig to part of you, to reflect you, and work with your look. As you think of the wigs you own, what didn’t work, what did, you likely have figured some things out already. But if you are unhappy with your choices consistently then I have come up with some questions that might help you work through your dilemma.
Now, back to our theme: Though it is true that we are most often our own worst critic, we can also be “self-blind” about our looks because we fail to really see ourselves as we are, the psychologists tell us. They did a study with overweight women who all said they seemed to “wake up” one day and somehow, they had gained X number of pounds “without seeing it” and the study went on to apply this “self-blind” theory to our appearance in general. We look but we don’t see.
So, I hope these questions help you “see” because they did help me:
- Are you wearing a wig that does not flatter your face shape just because you love the style? Have you considered that it may not show you at your best?
- Do you have a longer or shorter than average neck? If so, the wig will fall and look differently on you if you based your choice entirely on the model.
- Will a lot of hair on the sides make your wider face look winder than you like?
- If you have a longer, thinner face, will that long straight style pull your face down more?
- Do you work at an office all day, and will those curls on that longer style end up a bunched-up mess around your neck from rubbing against your collar for 8-9 hours?
- Does that short style that looked so cute on the model make you look “all face” because your face is bigger, and your features are not as petite as the model’s?
- Will too much hair on top overwhelm your petite statue and face and make you look like an escapee from the 1980s? (Sorry, this was my hair stylist’s favorite saying.)
- Have you reached a certain age and you think, well, this is my hair, and it’s okay I guess, so why bother with wigs now?
A little about my personal journey: Early on and just by accident when I was naïve about wigs, I ended up in a local wig boutique. But it turned out to be most helpful. I was able to try on different styles, lengths, and colors to get a better idea of what worked. I bought my first wig at the boutique. Later, armed with more wig knowledge, I knew I could order from good companies like WigStudio1 and feel confident that I was getting the right wigs for me and at a better price. I know that not everyone lives near a wig boutique and there will be more trial and error and maybe a few returns before you work it out. I wish I had access to all of the great reviewers when I first started my wig journey.
My hair stylist friend jokes about women who are caught up in the “back in time” syndrome. He says that some women refuse to change styles and colors as they age. While this, ironically, is one thing that ages them. We all age, a fact, and we lose collagen in our faces, and our complexion changes. What looked good on us five or ten years ago, or whenever, does not work so well now.
My parting thought is that age doesn’t matter. Whether you are 16 or 116, you deserve to look your best and feel your best. Just make sure that whatever you pick reflects the you of today.
Until next time, as September fades and as October and the wonderful fall things grow near, I’ll soon be looking at the fall styles, how about you?
saying…life is short, so wear that hair, and hug someone you love.