The truth behind the wig:
By: Kim Hammon ( Let’s Talk With Kim )
Oh my gosh! I just got a new wig! Woo hoo!
This is exactly the way I feel when I get hair in the mail. I’m even more excited when I put that girl on my head and have the hair of my dreams. I play for hours and I look at myself in the mirror, seeing the person that I want to be. No, hair isn't what makes me who I am. But it sure does make the makeup and clothes look good and boost the self-esteem.
Now let's talk about the truth behind the wig. First I have to say the following is my own personal journey and feelings, and a bit out of my comfort zone opening up like this. But here it goes. I hope you find it helpful. I used to love a nice hot relaxing bath, but now not so much. No one sees the tears that fall during my so called relaxing hot bath, but I'm going to let you see those tears now.
I always wait until the end of my bath to wash my hair, because I know what is going to happen. I apply the shampoo and slowly wash my hair as if it is a very expensive delicate piece of glass. I do this gently, hoping to save my hair, but knowing it isn't true. Reluctantly, I open my tightly closed eyes to find strands of hair between my fingers, on my back and neck. Taking a deep breath, I convince myself to condition my hair. Surely this will help? I use all of the best conditioners for thinning hair. I lay back letting this magical potion do its trick. Eyes closed tightly again. Here I go, opening my eyes to the exact same thing. Even more hair has fallen out!
With great sadness and heartache, tears once again fall down my face. I say to myself, "Well Kim, at least you have some beautiful wigs to wear." As I dry myself off, I gently put a towel around my hair to absorb the water. I once again attend to my hair last. I put on my clothes, my face creams and then it's time to comb my thinning hair. I comb from the bottom to top as I’ve learned is the best way to do this. Here I go again. I feel like I’m holding my breath and my eyes are closed. I open my eyes to find the comb full of my hair. I look at the comb and wonder how so much hair can fall out, and yet I still have hair? "It's only a matter of time," I say to myself. I feel myself getting annoyed and upset. Why not just shave it off? Cut it really short? And believe me I have come very close.
Well, my friends, this may happen one day, but for now I’m hanging on to what I have and that's okay. Did you know that it's ok not to be ok? I know that I may have more hair than others but my hair loss is still just that.... it's hair loss. After the radiation treatment I lost a little part of me when my hair started thinning and I had no idea of what to do. I thought I would just have thin hair and eventually no hair.
Wow! Was I so wrong. I know now that I will always have hair. I will just buy it. At first, I was so afraid to put on a wig and even more terrified to walk out into public wearing it. However; after much learning, trial and error, spent money and persistence I soon found the promise and satisfaction of what a good wig can provide. I now feel completely the opposite. I feel naked if I go out without my wig. My only advice to someone losing their hair is please don’t wait to find that perfect wig. There is just such a wig waiting for you. And when you find that perfect fit, wear it with pride, it is your hair my sister/brother.
I'm truly thankful for wigs and how they have given me back my self-confidence and even better, my smile. Being a stay at home mom, it can take me months to save up for a new wig. Honestly, sometimes I wish I had that head full of hair, and I could use that money on my children or other things. But, I have to remind myself that I’m worth it and deserve a gift of love because God knows that I love wigs. And, if you think about the cost of haircuts, perms, and color on your bio hair, just to alter and maintain that latest do, can cost well over $125.00 and that's without a tip. Not to mention that after six weeks here we go again, another trip to the beautician, another day of anticipation and worry hoping it turns out okay and you get what you paid for. So, now I just save my money and buy the perfect wig, knowing that I will get exactly what I paid for without the worry and wonder of what results I may get at the salon. So maybe exchanging the worry and wonder and time spent at the salon for the excitement of what shows up in the mail isn’t so bad after all.
My reason for writing this is to let others know that I understand the pain associated with hair loss. Yes, I know that others have it so much worse than I do, and I am thankful to have bio hair even though very thin. Sometimes in this life we can't choose what happens to us but we can choose the way we respond to it. I will not let this autoimmune disease define me. It can take my hair, but not my smile, my song, my dance and my love of life and self.
I’m a dreamer and a fighter. I look forward with exciting expectation to that next beautiful long, short, curly, straight, blonde, brunette or lavender wig and to stand on a mountaintop with my hands on my hips and my gorgeous hair blowing in the wind. To all of you losing or have lost your hair, I’m sending you the biggest hug and high five, because now we have many choices on what hair we have. We can have curly, straight, long, short, and wow the color choices are amazing. Together we will keep on keeping on. Big hugs and kisses my friends. Remember to BeYOUtiful!