For Lee, wearing a wig is not something new. It has been part of her life for decades—through childhood, adulthood, marriage, college, work, horseback riding, and countless other milestones.
Her journey began at just six years old when she developed trichotillomania, a condition that caused her to pull her eyebrows and eyelashes before eventually progressing to her hair. As a child, Lee did not understand why she was doing it or why she could not simply stop.
"For many of us, it is a vicious cycle: we hate that we do it, which drives us to do it more," Lee explains. "The inability to stop, combined with the guilt of how it affects those around you, can be overwhelming."
Today, Lee openly shares her story and uses what she has learned to encourage and support others experiencing hair loss.
A Childhood Without Answers
Lee's experience with trichotillomania began long before there was widespread understanding of the condition.
As the hair pulling escalated, school became especially difficult. The stress surrounding her hair loss only made the situation harder, creating a cycle that Lee struggled to understand.
"What is unique about my experience is that I did this to myself, without necessarily wanting to or understanding why," she says.
As a child, Lee describes the experience simply: "I was frightened, confused, and very alone."
She wore her first wig as a young girl in the late 1960s and early 1970s. Children's wigs were not readily available at the time, and the options she had were far from ideal. The wig was too large, the color was not right, and it looked noticeably like a wig.
When her hair grew back during her early teenage years, Lee held on to it for as long as possible. She became creative about finding ways to cover the areas she was losing, although those efforts eventually could not hide the problem.
Looking back, Lee believes children experiencing trichotillomania should receive support as early as possible. She encourages families to seek qualified professionals who can provide behavior modification and other tools to help manage the condition.
Choosing Wigs on Her Own Terms
By 1985, at age 25, Lee was ready to make a change. She wanted to enjoy life and stop worrying about hair loss.
"I wanted to date and enjoy life, which felt impossible with bald spots I could no longer conceal," Lee recalls.
That year, Lee found a small wig shop where a kind stylist helped her choose a style that was young, fashionable, and affordable. It was the era of big hair, so the fuller styles and permatease that were popular at the time worked in her favor.
She chose an auburn-red shade because it reflected her natural hair color. Although she had been a blonde baby, her hair had grown back much darker as a young teenager.
The experience gave Lee the confidence to commit to wearing wigs full-time, and by 1986, wigs had become a regular part of her life.
From Hiding Her Hair to Owning Her Story
For many years, Lee was reluctant to talk about her hair loss. If someone asked questions, she would often walk away rather than explain.
Over time, however, her perspective changed.
"Wearing a wig has given me self-confidence and the belief that I can overcome any obstacle," she says.
Today, Lee is comfortable discussing her experience and does not feel the same pressure to hide.
"While it is difficult for many to hear, it is 'just hair,'" she says.
Lee recognizes that hair loss can be emotionally difficult because it is so visible, but she also understands that the circumstances behind hair loss can be far more serious. For many people, hair loss is connected to significant medical challenges.
That perspective has helped Lee view her own experience differently and has made her especially empathetic toward others navigating hair loss.
Wigs, Fashion and a Little Fun
After so many years of wearing wigs, Lee no longer sees them simply as something she needs. They have become part of her personal style.
She enjoys choosing different pieces depending on her outfit or mood and takes pride in finding styles that look natural.
Her friends are incredibly supportive—and sometimes even a little jealous of the variety.
A colleague once gave Lee advice that changed how she viewed her wigs: own it and wear it proudly. No one who has not walked in her shoes should have the power to influence her decisions.
She took those words to heart.
Now, Lee wears different styles all the time.
She also enjoys the compliments she receives. When someone admires her hair, she has a favorite response:
"It's easy to look amazing when your hair is permanently styled, and the color is always perfect."
After years of worrying about her hair, Lee has found a way to have a little fun with it.
Love, Support and a Surprising Connection
Lee's husband has been one of her greatest supporters throughout their 36 years together.
When they first began dating, Lee decided to tell him about her hair loss early. She did not want to become emotionally attached if he could not accept that she wore a wig.
His response was unexpected.
He told Lee that his aunt owned one of the biggest wig shops in Baltimore.
Suddenly, the subject was no longer a concern.
His acceptance and continued support have been especially meaningful throughout Lee's journey. When she returned to college as an adult student, she worried about how younger classmates might react to her wearing a wig.
Her fears turned out to be unnecessary.
The topic never even came up.
Having her husband's support gave Lee additional confidence as she navigated those moments of uncertainty.
Wigs and an Active Life
Wearing wigs has occasionally presented practical challenges, particularly because Lee has always been active.
Gym class was difficult, and swimming presented its own limitations. She began riding horses at age nine, and wearing a fiberglass riding helmet over a wig was anything but comfortable.
Eventually, Lee became a professional trainer. Returning to wigs allowed her to focus on what mattered most—the horses and the show ring—instead of worrying about her decreasing hair in a sport where appearance can sometimes be a significant part of the experience.
The wig became one less thing she needed to think about.
Helping Others Feel Less Alone
Perhaps one of the most meaningful parts of Lee's journey is how her experience now allows her to help others.
Recently, she helped a friend of a friend who had been diagnosed with alopecia. They discussed styles, colors, cap constructions, and products.
Because Lee is open about her own experience, people feel comfortable approaching her for advice.
Her decades of experience have given her practical knowledge about wigs, but perhaps even more importantly, she understands what it feels like to be the person who is suddenly trying to figure everything out.
She knows the questions, the uncertainty, and the emotional adjustment that can come with hair loss.
And she is happy to share what she has learned.
Lee's Wig Style
After wearing wigs for so many years, Lee knows exactly what works for her.
She prefers short or chin-length styles because she feels they flatter her facial structure. Blonde and caramel shades are her favorites, particularly when they include rooted color for a natural, dimensional appearance.
Her all-time favorite is TressAllure's Twisted Pixie.
Lee describes it as "sassy" and says it gives her confidence. It does require some patience to style the curls properly, however, so she considers it anything but a beginner wig.
When shopping for a wig, Lee looks for three key features:
- A monofilament top for a natural-looking appearance
- Rooted colors for dimension and realism
- Appropriate density because too much hair can feel overwhelming after years without biological hair
She also appreciates today's less-fussy styles. After decades of wearing wigs, she knows that looking polished does not necessarily mean wearing an overly styled or complicated look.
A Lifetime of Perspective
Lee has been wearing wigs longer than many current wig buyers have been alive. What began as something she needed has evolved into something she genuinely enjoys.
She can choose a style based on her mood, coordinate her hair with an outfit, and walk out the door knowing she looks the way she wants to look.
More importantly, she has reached a place where her hair no longer defines her.
Her childhood experiences with trichotillomania were painful and isolating, but they also shaped the empathy and strength she carries today.
Lee's story is ultimately about much more than hair loss. It is about learning to accept what cannot be changed, finding confidence in the choices that can be made, and using personal experience to help someone else feel less alone.
For Lee, a wig is not something to hide behind.
It is simply one more way to show the world who she is.
