Who Are You Now? And What We Need to Remember

Wig Shown Above: Big Spender Wig by Raquel Welch in color RL10/12

   I had to ask myself that question recently as I attempted to make an overnight change from my usual wig(s) colors of shaded cappuccino and Iced Latte Macchiato—and go gray. I looked in the mirror and didn’t know myself in all-gray wig. I asked myself, “who are you now” and meant it. As per my last blog—yes, it was too soon to make such a drastic change, and I needed a transition period. Lesson learned. 

   It’s one of life’s many challenges that we must keep re-inventing ourselves as things change in our life. Whether it be the many changes we all go through to reach adulthood or now, as adults, the changes we must accept and deal with by choice or circumstance.

   We all have our milestones—and to name a few: graduations, dating, first job/career changes, marriage, children, empty nest, and many others that may be different or in-between all these. No matter the role we are called upon to play, or our changing titles, there is a “real you” underneath the face we put on for every role we play.

   You may be asking what this has to do with wigs. When one loses their hair, especially a woman, it can bring about a real identity crisis. Whatever way hair loss comes, it is disruptive to our life and our identity. For years we have looked in that mirror and have seen the person with long brown hair, short blonde hair, curly hair, and so on. But now who are we? We are the person with no hair, or almost no hair, and what does that mean? How do we re-invent ourselves when this happens? What face do we put on in this circumstance? We need to remember: We are still the same person as always—just without our old hair.

   Hair loss is a shock, even if we’ve been told it was coming. Our self-image is disrupted, and that can affect our life in many ways. As strong as we may be, or as efficient, capable, loved, loving, nice, kind—it doesn’t matter. For a woman, (and I am guessing it’s true for men as well) hair loss means we are losing one of the things that help identify us. For women, it’s an identifier in a special way. Our hair looks different from men’s hair, mostly. We need to remember: We are still the same person as always—just with different hair!

   The good news: Wigs are so well made today that unless you tell someone you are wearing one, no one else needs to know. All kinds of people get all kinds of help every day to replace all kinds of losses. Whether it be hair, teeth, limbs, and even organs, we are living in a time where we have options so that we can still be who we thought we were with some help and adjustments. We need to remember: We are still the same person as always—just with lots of different hair to pick from now!

   My grandmother often said, no one gets out of this life without battle scars. She also said to wear them as a badge of honor because it shows how strong we are. That’s not to say we won’t have some dark moments when we look in the mirror and get angry that we don’t have the hair we had at twenty-five, and ask “why me”?

   When I am tempted to ask, “why me” I think of my grandmother again. She lost her husband due to a freak auto accident. There she was, shy of forty, no career, and with six children to raise during the depression. I can’t recall her ever saying much about how hard it was. She was never a complainer. Nor did she complain about the food and materials rationing during the war, or the fear she must have had as she watched two of her three sons go off to be in that war.

   I don’t know if I could have endured what my grandmother did without complaining but knowing about it helps me keep things in perspective. In the end, no matter what we have to face, we find our way. We know that though we do play many roles in life, if we remember who we really are, that will keep us going.

   Until next week,

VickieLynn saying, whatever the weather, you will find a way through…a picture from a friend of her rainy day in London.