Wig Studio 1 News
New to Wigs-Later in Life?
Recently, I wrote about the challenges of learning about wigs when one is a senior and hasn't needed a wig before. A lot of women in their sixties and beyond are now looking at wigs as an option who may have not looked at them before. There is more than one reason for this. Women live longer in general and they have products at their disposal to help them look younger longer. We live in the time of Botox, fillers, microcurrent technology to firm up the muscles under the facial skin, and a host of skincare products that can help us look our best. But when it comes to hair—well, it is what it is, and some women are not so happy about that. Their thinning hair makes them look older and is no match for their face and body. What to do?
It was these women that I talked with recently. Their concerns were much the same as a wig wearer of any age. Will the wig look “real” and how do in decided on a cap construction, color, style, and what about wig care? They did have one concern that was different from younger women—length, and the out-of-date thinking that senior women should never wear long hair. As we have all learned by now, it’s all about the wig style, color, one’s face shape, and really—one’s attitude.
When I think about attitude and how that matters, I think of women I know who are always just comfortable in any situation, can talk to anyone about anything, and who have their style. They don’t second guess their choices, or at least they don’t’ seem to dwell on them. They just wear things, including hairstyles, colors, and wigs that just feel right for them. This has been the biggest hurdle in my discussions with senior women. They are of the generation, especially in certain parts of the country, where they do pay more attention to “what their peers might think” and I don’t see that changing. That may be their comfort zone, so that’s fine. When I talked with them about what was holding them back from hitting that “buy” button there were just a few things they were trying to resolve since our last meeting where I did an actual wig presentation using my wigs, answering questions. These questions may resonate with you too—they are not just senior concerns. The top ten questions that came up over and over:
- Can I make a big color change from my bio hair—and if I do, how do I prepare my friends and family for it?
- I don’t want to deal with long wigs because of the care involved, how do the mid-lengths hold up compared with the shorter wigs?
- Should I buy two of the same wig and rotate or wait until one is wearing out before I get another?
- If I don’t want to tell people I’m wearing a wig, how do I make it look more real?
- How do I decide what securing method to use?
- Do I have to wear a wig cap?
- Do I have to shave my head?
- Can I sleep in my wig?
- If I want to go lighter should I do it gradually if I don’t want people to notice and think it’s a wig?
- Should I have a backup wig, asleep wig, a swimming wig, etc.?
I did address all of these questions with the group. I have had some of these questions and I am sure you did (or do) too. Some senior women, depending on the age range, are very media savvy, and some are less so. There is a gap in resources and knowledge in the group that I was dealing with, and that was an eye-opener for me. Some knew how to search for answers and some had no idea. In the end, I decided to make it a personal mission to work with this group on my own to try to help them overcome their fears and hesitations about jumping into the wig world. There is no reason that they can’t wear wigs successfully and feel good about it. If you are a senior woman or if you know a senior woman who is thinking about wig-wearing but is put off by the lack of information or support please encourage them to go to the WigStudio-1 Facebook page or the help desk at WigStudio-1. No one should have to do the wig journey alone.
Along with the shorter wigs that a lot of them like are many of the mid-length ones. These were the most popular in the group, and I hope some are ready to hit the buy button.
https://www.wigstudio1.com/collections/gabor-wigs
Until next week, just get out there and be your version of a beautiful you!
Vickie Lynn
Do You Have “It’s a Wig” Markers?
We all know the usual things that can cause people to look twice and think someone is wearing a wig: too much shine, odd colors, cheap wigs that are more like a hat, too coarse fibers that don’t move. And the list goes on.
In my years of dealing with wigs and wig wearers I have noticed that there are three groups of wig wearers (in general):
- Those who wear wigs for fun and fashion. They usually don’t care if someone knows they wear a wig.
- Those who are terrified of wigs and don’t want anyone to know they wear one (it takes them forever to wear one out of the house. And why—because they don’t pick the right one (mostly due to lack of information) and now they are not happy with how they look in the wig they bought.
- (and this is a unique one) A wig wearer who thinks more hair is better (that’s not necessarily so), and those who are so afraid of more hair/big hair that they won’t try anything that’s not low density.
Whatever category you fall into, or somewhere in between, there are challenges to all of us in our wig journey and for different reasons. We are individuals with individual likes, needs, and there is no “one size fits all” answer on the wig journey.
It is often difficult to “see” ourselves as we are, or as others see us. We often have a picture of ourselves in our minds that may not have a lot to do with reality. Are we trying to look like we did ten or twenty years ago when we had all of our bio hair? Trying to mimic that is often the first and biggest mistake that wig wearers make. They forget that if they had kept their hair and it had aged with them, that it would look different today, and not as it did ten or twenty years ago.
When I asked NON-wig wearers if they could generally spot a wig, and if so, what was the giveaway, here are their top ten answers:
- Too much hair.
- Too much shine.
- Flat or unrealistic color.
- Too much hair on top.
- Hair that didn’t fit the person’s age (in days gone by, it was elderly women who were more likely to wear wigs, and they were mostly short). I think this contributed to the idea that older women should only wear short styles. As I have written about before, this is not always the case. There is NO rule about age. It’s about how one looks in a style and color—how one feels.
- Weird hairstyles (not sure what they had in mind).
- No visible part in the hair or the part was wig-related.
- The hairline was not real.
- The hair was too perfect, like a sprayed-on helmet.
- The weird hairs sticking up on top of the ends of the hair looking clumpy.
As a wig wearer, I fight against all these things, as I know so many of you do. Most of us have learned or will learn which brands and styles work best for us so that we can defeat all of these “it’s a wig” markers. I think I’ve found my styles, brands, and colors, and hope you have found yours. In the end, it’s about what makes us feel good about ourselves. If I can go all day and never think about my hair/wig, it’s a good day. If I am uncomfortable, worried about my wig, unsure how realistic it looks, then it takes away from my day and can alter my mood. Therefore, I do all that I can to make sure that doesn’t happen.
It’s a process, and none of us will become or has become wig experts overnight. So, be kind to yourself on this journey, and know that we are more than our hair.
Until next time, I’m wishing for autumn, and loving my new wig, “Ready for Takeoff”
Vickie Lynn
Show and Tell?
Though I blogged about this a while back, it has come up again in recent Facebook posts and elsewhere. So, I wanted to re-visit this topic. How much do you tell others about your decision to wear wigs? This is a decision everyone must make on their own. No one answer fits everyone’s situation.
My friend once said to me, “it’s a mind field of judgment out there” but that can’t be your concern. There is nothing we can do to stop someone from rendering judgment about anything we wear, eat, drive, or do. Humans will be humans. With this in mind, you must decide early on how you will incorporate wig-wearing into your life. Will you just tell your family and close friends? How will you handle telling (or not telling) work colleagues? Again, only you know the best way because only you know your level of confidence, and the dynamics of your relationships, both personal and professional.
Yes, but what about romance? That is a question that I see a lot. How and when or if—you should bring this up. This is tricky because trust places a big role here. I’d certainly not make it a conversation on a first or even second date. After all, if this is someone that you don’t know well, and may not see again, why put yourself through that stress? Now, the tricky part. If you do progress to a more serious relationship, an intimate relationship, then what—how do you prepare your partner ahead of time, or do you have to do that? Unfortunately, there are no rules about this and it comes back to you, your trust level with the other person, and the confidence that you are more than your hair.
If you do get to that point and are still not ready to have the wig discussion, there is one thing my friend recommended that worked for her and allowed her time to ease her way into having the conversation. When they got to the time when she knew their relationship had progressed to the next phase, intimacy, yet she was still not ready to have the wig talk, she told her partner that she had hair extensions in and to keep his hands out of her hair. Plain and simple, and that is what happened. She offered no other explanation until she was ready to, and that was months down the road when she was sure their relationship was one she wanted to cultivate. By then she knew what to expect from him in the way of a reaction, so she took the risk. It worked out for her, but I also know someone who took the risk and never heard from the guy again. But she realized that if she was dealing with someone that shallow, then him walking away was a good thing for her. Why waste your time on someone who judges others solely by their appearance.
If you are like friend number one and you want to take some time, then there are things that you can do to help. You can do as she did or you can just say up front that you are wearing a wig so please don’t mess with it and offer no further information. However, saying that will in all likelihood bring questions, so make sure you are ready to answer them. If you are in the early dating stages there are, of course, ways to secure your wig to keep it looking natural until you do get to a more serious point in your relationship.
What about your work colleagues? That can be handled any way you think best. Depending on the change in your look, you may have someone confront you about it. Only you know your work situation. If it’s just going to a lower density wig from your thinning hair, then you might not need to say anything. I worked with a woman who decided her thinning hair was becoming a confidence breaker so she got a log density wig that matched her bio hair color and length, and just wore it into work—and got compliments on her new haircut. And I take this opportunity to remind you of something that you already know—people are much too concerned about their looks and life to dwell too much on others. We are our own worse critics and this is a hard truth.
If you love wigs and want to wear different styles, and colors regularly to work, then you’ll just have to go for it and tell everyone what you’re doing. In a week or so, it will no longer be a topic. This is the jumping into the fire with both feet approach. Some people can handle it, some rather not make this attempt. Only you can decide.
I hate to end on a negative note but you will run into those, be they family, friends, or co-workers who will have something to say. There are people who seem to see their mission in life is to offer their opinion on everything, whether they know anything about the topic or not. In the case of wigs, I’ve found that it those who know nothing about them who feel they must their critique. Be ready for them. They will ask dumb questions, comment on the color and/or style, ask you the cost, and in general, make you uncomfortable if you let them. I have found a few well-chosen sentences can usually shut them down. Here are some retorts that I’ve heard used over the years by seasoned wig wearers.
“Why yes, it is a wig. Do you have wig or hair styling experience?”
“If you’re interested I can send you some information.”
“Costs vary. I can point you to a few good websites if need more information.”
“People wear wigs for all sorts of reasons. You must feel lucky that you don’t have to.”
“I like being a blonde, but hold on, I could show up as a redhead tomorrow.”
I could go on, but you get the idea. You really DO NOT owe anyone any explanation. How much you decide to “show and tell” is your decision. Don’t let someone force you into it before you’re ready.
Until next time,
Pull out that little bit of the magical witch in you and stand tall.
Vickie Lynn
Keeping Your Confidence-or Getting it Back
It’s a good bet that none of us would have picked hair loss as something to challenge our confidence and self-esteem. But if it’s happened to you, know that the way you choose to deal with it can make all the difference in your mood, outlook, and relationships with others.
If we stay in the denial or anger stage we run the risk of not taking advantage of those things that can help us—like wigs. We also run the risk of not getting on with our life. We don’t want to give over—not even one second of our life, to fight a battle that we can’t win. So, if you know that your bio hair is gone for good, or at least to the point that you don’t feel confident about how you look out in the world, then you have options.
As I have written about in previous blogs, there is a psychological impact of hair loss, like any other loss, so I don’t want to make light of it, or the pain caused by it. But to linger in the stages of grief too long can hurt us too.
So along with those grief processing steps that famously end in acceptance, let’s look at some things to think about along with way.
- Your Perspective: You know by now that you are your own worst critic. We’ve all heard it and it is definitely true – you are harder on yourself than anyone else is. This also means that you probably view your hair loss more critically than others do.
- Your Feelings: It’s not the end of the world, and there are many worse things many other people must deal with—right? Yes, we know this, and some of us might have even had that sentence directed at us. Knowing it and internalizing it is a different thing. It takes a little time, so don’t be too hard on yourself. Learning to live with your hair loss is a psychological challenge but it is only as difficult as you make it—however, we need tools to deal with it just like any other problem or challenge.
- Your Solutions: Find help if you need it. Most of you who read this have long since gone to the doctor and you know all about your hair loss, but now you need a different kind of help. You need help from people who know about wigs and wig care. You need to find others who are dealing with this—you need support from those who can understand.
- Your Options: Professional therapy is there for you. If you’re still having trouble coping with your hair loss, there are professionals who can help you work through those grief stages. Don’t write off your pain because you are afraid of being seen as weak. Issues with anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem can impact your mental health both in the short and long term. Get the help that you need and don’t feel bad about it for one second.
We may not have a choice about losing our hair, but we can choose how to respond (easier said than done—but true, nonetheless). We can refuse to live in denial and allow hair loss to destroy our confidence and quality of life. Getting the help that we need is the first step. Learning about wigs and how they can enhance your life is the next step and just as important. Talk to people who know about wigs, and don’t be shy about asking questions. I’ve found that most people do want to help if we just ask. I find this especially true in the wig community because a lot of the people have gone through the same challenges themselves. They know about the feeling of loss, dealt with the self-esteem issues, gone through the stages of grief, and gotten to acceptance—and then went further. They became experts about wigs and wig care, and now reach out to help others.
If I had to pick one thing that put me over the hurdle into acceptance, I’d have to say it was the day I found a wig that felt like it was meant for me. Long-time wig wearers have had this experience as well. Like most, I had to try a few wigs to get to my happy place, but when I did it was as if someone turned the light from dim to bright. I looked in the mirror and saw me—just me, and not the wig. I knew then that I had found a look and color that suited me, and that made all the difference. My confidence began to return.
Things NOT to do:
Please don’t give up after trying just one or two wigs. You will likely feel the same as a lot of people: the wig has too much hair (because you are not used to seeing yourself with a thick head of hair), and the fit is not right. Granted, some wigs do have a lot of hair, but you should know that some have a lower density and no permatese if that is what you like best. In other words, don’t make quick decisions. There is a wig cap learning curve as well. Did you measure your head? Do you know about the different cap styles/construction? Also, know that it will take a while to get rid of the feeling that something is sitting on your head.
Don’t think that you will look like the wig model. Have realistic expectations. Your face shape, coloring, may or may not be the same as the models. Even the length of your head and neck will be different, causing the wig to look longer or shorter on you, perhaps.
Don’t be afraid to put your hands in and on your wig. This can be tricky because you don’t want to mess up the “factory part” if there is a chance you might want to return the win. If you know you like it and will keep it, get in there and style it. Very few wigs come right out of the box looking great. Don’t be afraid to use the proper products on it to make it your own look. Put clips in or wear a headband to add an even more realistic look.
Don’t give up because you haven’t found the right way to secure your wig. And by “right” I mean the way that works for you. Different people like and use different methods. I am a “purist” in that I like nothing but an occasional clip or bobby pin to secure mine if I go to the dentist. But I have found a cap that fits me well. Also, I don’t do a lot of up and down, running around, being outside, etc., which might require a more secure means. So, as you can see, securing your wig is a very personal choice. Find what works for you and your life.
A happy ending—yes, there is one. Before you know it you will be a pro in your own right. You will know all about caps, fibers, heat-friendly wigs, and how to care for them. You’ll know which colors and styles flatter you—and there is when the fun begins. You have options! Just take a look at the website today—wow.
Until next time, remember, we must make many choices every day. Today, let’s Choose to be Confident.
Vickie Lynn
--and Ollie the Owl (sitting among my violets in my living room looking very confident indeed).
You Are Not Your Hair – and Who is the Real Expert?
As we all know by now, attitude is important. If you look at your wig and all you can think of is loss—hair loss, then touching that wig, wearing that wig can have a negative effect on your self-image, mood, and how you act and interact with others.
Hair loss, like any other condition one might have, is often something that we can’t reverse, but there are a lot of things that we can do to live with it. Wearing a wig does not change who you are, but it can change how you look and feel—for the better if you let it.
Now that I have reminded you (and myself) of this, let’s move on to some other practical things, like advice from the so-called “experts” and how much faith should we have in what they say.
My disclaimer - (Though there is “collective wisdom” in the hair, wig, and beauty industry, I’m not convinced that all of this advice below is much more than opinion, so read it with your skeptical glasses.):
While it's a beauty myth that women over 60 must wear their hair short, the real marker for whether you should be wearing your hair short is whether it would be flattering to your face shape and hair texture. This short hair look works best on those with naturally straight, medium-textured hair.
Does short hair make you look thinner or heavier? It is believed that short hair isn't suitable for women with round faces. (However, that's not totally true.) Some cuts do nothing for you, but some that can flatter your round face. The perfect ones will be cuts with choppy strands framing the face, asymmetric side-parted hairstyles, angled bobs/lobs, and styles with the volume on top of the head.
What is a good hairstyle for a 60-year-old woman? A wavy medium-length shag style is the best haircut for older women, especially women in their 60s plus. It looks flattering with bangs especially, and some say it can take about a decade off your age/look. Layers can mean more movement and a more youthful look. Shorter hair, which tends to expand at the ends, can leave you with an unflattering triangle effect. Whereas loose waves and that movement makes for a younger look. Beware that straight hair can age you, so play around with face-framing layers to give your hair some softness and movement.
The Ever popular and Debated “what hair for what face shape”:
(Here is what I found from the same so-called beauty “expert”):
- If Your Face Is Heart-Shaped: Wispy, Layered Cut.
- If Your Face Is Oval-Shaped: Angular Bob.
- If Your Face Is Square-Shaped: Shoulder-Length Cut.
- If Your Face Is Round-Shaped: Pixie Cut – What? Isn’t this the reverse of what this same expert said before?
- If Your Face Is Long-Shaped: Side-Parted curly bob
Everyone has an opinion. For example, I would not wear a pixie cut with a very round face unless I had small delicate features. So, take this “collective wisdom” with a grain of salt. I think it’s about a bit more than face shape. It’s about hair color, hairstyle, density, texture, and one’s attitude too.
Can changing our hair color make us look younger? (an always popular question)
I think we can all agree this can be true. Here again, are some “experts” weighing in. What do you think? Again, I think it depends on skin tone and condition, and the hairstyle and volume. I am not a fan of gold tones myself because it doesn’t go with my complexion, but it works for many others. So we see again that these blanket declarations may not be right for everyone. Also, I have seen many women who can rock white hair with no gold tones. But I do agree that tone can be important, and shading, highlights, all those things can make or break a look. Again, take the following “expert’s declarations” with a grain of salt:
- Blonde. As we age many people experience premature gray. For blondes, this can look ashy and age the complexion. Rather than keep your tresses platinum or white, add some gold tones to your highlights and you’ll soften your skin tone.
- Red. Adding warmth to red and strawberry blonde hair has the same effect as adding warmth to blonde. It makes you look healthier. Ditch the blue reds and select something warm to add a youthful glow to your tone.
- Brunette. Lighten up dark roots with caramel highlights and you’ll ditch the drab. A few highlights will soften your look and recapture the youth of summer days long past.
- Black. This is tricky. Black hair can be undeniably mysterious, but when in doubt – leave the blue out. A warm shade of black looks more natural and believable than Elvira’s blue-black, and there’s nothing worse than an off-tone box job look, no matter your age.
In summary, I wanted to point out that everyone has an opinion and that often these “experts” know less than we do. I say that we know best—you know best. Most women have had enough hairstyles and colors that they have learned what looks best on them. If you are a new wig wearer and get close to your bio hair color that you loved, you will likely be more comfortable. But remember, our complexion does change as we age, and we get lighter in the winter, darker in the summer, at least to some degree usually. And more than that, we have undertones in our skin that run from yellow to pink. The hair color that looked good on you at twenty-five may not look so great now. Don’t be afraid to change your color if it looks good on you. Look at the colors in your wardrobe. What do you gravitate to, have more of in your closet? That will give you a clue if you are warm, cool, or neutral in the tone family. Once you know that it is easier to pick a wig color that also will have shades/tones to compliment your skin tone. There are tons of videos and articles about picking your skin tone and under-tone.
We are the real experts, you, me, and other wig wearers. Follow the talented ladies here on this site for some great demos and information for all types of wig-wearing assistance. Also, follow us on Facebook, another great place for information from the real experts, those who know wigs, wear wigs, and know colors, and styles!
Until next time,
Happy short Wig Season (for me anyway)
Vickie Lynn
The Scary Questions and Some Good Answers
Though you might find varying versions of these answers, these are the ones mostly agreed upon and what my own dermatologist told me.
- Will constant wig-wearing inhibit or permanently damage your bio hair?
Wearing a wig will not inhibit hair growth. The cells that allow hair to grow will still be able to function underneath your skin while wearing a wig. If you're worried about damaging hair that is growing back out underneath your wig, wearing a wig cap can help to protect the hair that is growing in.
- Will the continued use of adhesives cause my bio hair to break or cause permanent loss?
Some people do use heavy-duty adhesives when applying lace front wigs, and it is not uncommon for hair loss to occur with the repeated use around the hairline. The combination of irritating adhesives and tension on the hairline can cause damage, with receding hairlines occurring as an undesirable—but not an uncommon outcome.
What can we do to help prevent damage to our bio hair, and scalp?:
- Massage your scalp. Having a wig sit too tightly on your head can cause the blood flow to your scalp to be reduced.
- Take your wig off before bed. Most doctors and wig experts recommend that you do not sleep in your wig – it can cause tension on your hair and cause breakages, tangling, clumping, and other undesirable outcomes.
- Shampoo your hair--regularly. The key to healthy hair (and scalp) is keeping it clean. You don’t want your wig sitting on a dirty, oily scalp. Bad for your wig and your scalp and bio hair.
- Keep on top of trimming bio hair. It might be that you choose to wear a wig all day every day. That’s fine but don’t assume that you don’t need to trim your own hair or care for it as well as you did before your wig-wearing days. Don’t forget about your bio hair.
- Avoid putting damp hair under a wig. Having damp natural hair under a wig is not only extremely uncomfortable but can also promote the growth of nasty bacteria.
- Be careful when braiding your bio hair. Braiding can be seen as an easy way to keep your natural hair out of the way under a wig. But be mindful of your technique.
- Your bio hair can continue to lose moisture just like before. So moisturize and condition your bio hair if you notice your hair feeling dry after wearing your wig. To combat any bio hair and/or scalp dryness, try using hair oils, which can penetrate well, or other treatments you might prefer to restore its moisture and good health.
- Give your hair and scalp a break. If you have natural hair under a wig for a long period of time, it can be good to give your natural hair and your scalp a break for a few days from time to time.
In summary:
- Wearing wigs brings its own particular challenges. While it is tempting to put our bio hair “on hold” and forget it longer than we would have before, that is a mistake.
- Anything we do over and over again that causes friction will have a result. This includes a poor-fitting wig, too tight wigs, and bands, and twisting and braiding (if done poorly).
- The constant friction combined with adhesives can take a toll on the hairline. Try different ways of securing your wig so that the hairline is not constantly irritated by the adhesive and tension.
In conclusion, my view is that while there are challenges in wig wearing like there are in a lot of things we have to tackle, once we get past the learning curve, it’s more fun than fear.
Take care of your bio hair, scalp, and your wig…
Until next time,
Vickie Lynn
